I've actually played in the Premier league and averaged a goal a game.
Ok, it was the Welsh Premier league and the only reason I played was because of a car breakdown that was carrying four players never made it to Briton Ferry. I only went along to watch as my mate used to play. One minute I'm standing on the terrace waiting for the teams to come on, the next I've got the coach asking me what size boots I wear! Five minutes later the coach hands me a pair of daps that belonged to the linesman.
I was put up front along with the sponge man and given a false name. I was so unfit but knew we only had 11 players and I would have to play the full ninety!
I'm a big lump at 6ft 2 and quite chunky (fat) but the two Briton Ferry lads that were marking me were huge to say the least and kicked the mother out of me. I could hear a couple of the home fans saying ''who's that number 9, he's sh1t''
Just before half time the ball somehow came to me and I smashed it in the back of the net from all of four foot away. It gave me great pleasure to celebrate in front of the home fans who I'd heard abusing me earlier even though we were 3 nil down.
We went on to lose 9-1, but its a day I'll never forget and always reminisce with my mate who played over a hundred games and never scored once
Originally Posted by valleys caveman
I've actually played in the Premier league and averaged a goal a game.
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