That's a real eye opener
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That's a real eye opener
That camera is hardly a "miracle of miniaturisation"Quote:
Originally Posted by Eric the Half a Bee
I was expecting a little hi tech thingy.
More like a carpenters pencil :hehe:
Ouch.Quote:
Originally Posted by Eric the Half a Bee
The day after the last Derby match at the Vetch I received ‘the swabs’ in Dewi Sant in Ponty.
It still brings tears to my eyes thinking about it:biggrin:
I spent most of the day in Angharads drinking away the woes of having pieces of plastic being shoved down the end of my knob. Pissing was uncomfortable for days.
Worse still, I found out a week later “I was clean!” The twisted ****er who put me through it was pissed off with me for being an absolute twat. Fair enough really:biggrin:
It's a shocker. But even worse is when you re asked to swallow a hosepipe with a camera at the end of it. Worse again they use the same equipment for rectal examinations and all that happens is that the "hosepipe" is wiped with alcohol after use in either throat or rectal usage.
Exactly the same happened to me. A few years ago my housemate at the time said you shold get checked up every year,all you need to do is go piss in a cup.Quote:
Originally Posted by Jordi Culé
I had brought a girl home the next night and decided it was a good idea, so I went the next day expecting to piss in a cup but because she'd had a piercing it looked a bit red and I ended up getting swabbed. I have never been more uncomfortable in my life.
Worst part was I had dropped my car off for an MOT that morning so had to walk home with a throbbing bell end. 2 days later I got a text saying all clear, so it was all for nothing anyway!
I've had it shoved down my throat about 10 years ago. And the endoscopy. Thought there was a funny taste.Quote:
Originally Posted by Vindec
Turns out there was nothing wrong. Horrible gagging feeling as they try and get it past your throat. No wonder some women don't like going down.
For me, the thought of it before the test was worse than the test itself.
I had to have a procedure done a few years ago using epidural anaesthetic. Watching pictures of the surgeon pushing this camera up my willy was strange to say the least.
I bet. Must have felt strange having someone taking photos of the surgeon pushing a camera up your knob.Quote:
Originally Posted by Former Labour leader
I got re-targetted by an ad for an Endoscopy repair when I opened this thread !
This is not a joke: when I was a kid I thought that a local anaesthetic was sourced locally.
You must have a small knob, I could get a toilet brush down mine :biggrin:Quote:
Originally Posted by Veg1960
Flexible chimney flue liner ad for me! Close but cant imagine what it would be like having one of those inserted in your orifice.Quote:
Originally Posted by Eric the Half a Bee
I've had one up the ass, you know something's bad when shoving a camera up your behind is the preferable option
Ditto! Tradesman's entrance for me any time.Quote:
Originally Posted by delmbox
Had a cystoscopy and endoscopy. Walking like John Wayne for 24 hours with the former, farting for Wales with the latter thanks to the copious amounts of carbon dioxide administered.
Neither a joyous experience.😂
"Take a deep breath" says the consultant "I'm going round the bend". Words no man, or woman should have to hear. Trouble is, I had the same consultant doing the colonoscopy for years. By pure coincidence she was also the consultant looking after my dad when he was in hospital. I made the joke of saying "we've met before....but you wont recognise me from this angle". I hope she has got a poor memory cos I'm due back next year. Wouldn't put it passed her to turn up the CO2 just to get her own back! But, oh the relief of a good fart afterwards...and no lumps!Quote:
Originally Posted by JKB
Far too much information, thank you! :hehe::hehe:Quote:
Originally Posted by IanD
You should have said! We could have had it done at the same time!Quote:
Originally Posted by IanD
Competitive colonoscopies....could be a thing. In UHD, live streamed with commentary. One point per cm. of endoscope inserted. Points deducted for breathing in gas and air. First to get a biopsy sample, from furthest point reached, out and into a test tube = bonus points. Red card and disqualification for screaming "Do you xxxing work for Dyna Rod in your spare time?"
I was on the waiting list at the NHS for so long they outsourced me to a private Nuffield clinic so I got a cheese sandwich with a side of crisps afterwards. Minus 10 points for sureQuote:
Originally Posted by IanD
Cup of tea and a digestive (if you ask nicely) on the NHS.Quote:
Originally Posted by delmbox
Minus 5Quote:
Originally Posted by IanD
You youngsters don't know you're born. When I were a lad they used a Brownie Box camera....Quote:
Originally Posted by Veg1960
Following surgery a tube was rammed into the delicate area to enable your urine to drain into a bottle. When the nurse came to remove it she tugged on the tube to get it out which brought tears to my eyes. That was more unpleasant than major surgery.
Ouch!Quote:
Originally Posted by Vindec
Plus 120 points for 4 foot of endoscope. I asked!Quote:
Originally Posted by delmbox
"Any further love and it'll come out my nose"!
On the subject of tubes how about this: A nurse shaves you down below; you enter an operating theatre where you are told to lie down. A radiologist inserts a tube into your groin and pushes it up through your body, through your heart into your brain. A dye is injected; a camera is fed through the tube and the neurosurgeon in his office directs the radiologist to focus on specific areas of the brain. While all this is going on you can see exactly what is happening on a screen. You even get to choose your music while the procedure is ongoing. Not a great choice but I selected Chris Rea. The radiologist inserts a dye into the tube and you get a warm fuzzy feeling as the dye passes through the tube to its final destination. While all this is going on I have a pleasant discussion with the radiologist and it turned out his father and I were colleagues. Some might say the worst part of the experience was listening to Chris Rea but I did buy his CD afterwards. Thank you to the NHS and UHW.
An endoscope is aptly named regarding the procedure concerned.
Slightly surprising Chris Rea stat - he only ever achieved one top 10 single in the UK.Quote:
Originally Posted by Vindec