Looking after elderly folk , what a nightmare

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by The Bloop

Being a carer isnt a game of Top Trumps 🙂 We've learnt along the way, that the amount of help you get isnt always determined by what you need. Quite often its determined by how loud you shout to those who make the decisions.

---

w

I was lucky with my wife's care.

We were both in hospital at the same time for an extended period a couple of years ago and a combination of Doctors social workers and other medical staff set up a package of care (one call a day).We were discharged but my wife had several serious bouts of illness in the following months and was in fact lucky to be here today.

As a consequence the pack was increased to four calls a day by Social Services with no need to push at all in fact they insisted we had the full package.

In the sense that we had no need to press them at all we were lucky.

Certainly made our lives easier.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Elwood Blues

w

I was lucky with my wife's care.

We were both in hospital at the same time for an extended period a couple of years ago and a combination of Doctors social workers and other medical staff set up a package of care (one call a day).We were discharged but my wife had several serious bouts of illness in the following months and was in fact lucky to be here today.

As a consequence the pack was increased to four calls a day by Social Services with no need to push at all in fact they insisted we had the full package.

In the sense that we had no need to press them at all we were lucky.

Certainly made our lives easier.

---

we had to push , the initial care package was crap , I said unless you provide support for my mother and me I am going to lose my ****ing mind

But its still hard , mum gets 3 visits a day but if she messes herself at 7pm the night carers don't come till 9 so I have to give my old dear personal care , its not easy for her dignity

Massive respect for you and any other carers. I couldn't have done what you do.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by SLUDGE FACTORY

we had to push , the initial care package was crap , I said unless you provide support for my mother and me I am going to lose my ****ing mind

But its still hard , mum gets 3 visits a day but if she messes herself at 7pm the night carers don't come till 9 so I have to give my old dear personal care , its not easy for her dignity

---

Sorry to hear this mate, what are your thoughts on permanent care in a home? unfortunately things do not improve with time, and you do not want your own physical and mental health to deteriorate which is all to common for carers.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by jeepster

Reading all these post have made me realize how lucky i am.Massive big respect to all of you.

---

Absolutely!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by chris lee

Sorry to hear this mate, what are your thoughts on permanent care in a home? unfortunately things do not improve with time, and you do not want your own physical and mental health to deteriorate which is all to common for carers.

---

She is of sound mind and when she's not under an infection she copes ok .

She wants to stay in her home with increased care and she has told the doctors thats the way it is until they deem its unsafe for her to be here .

Care homes are dreadful , my old man was in one , 1000 quid a week and when I used to visit him he was often sitting in his own mess. I had enough and brought him home and got carers in , its far better for old people to die with dignity than be left in a room like cattle and for families to be paying through the nose for it .

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by SLUDGE FACTORY

She is of sound mind and when she's not under an infection she copes ok .

She wants to stay in her home with increased care and she has told the doctors thats the way it is until they deem its unsafe for her to be here .

Care homes are dreadful , my old man was in one , 1000 quid a week and when I used to visit him he was often sitting in his own mess. I had enough and brought him home and got carers in , its far better for old people to die with dignity than be left in a room like cattle and for families to be paying through the nose for it .

---

Sorry Sludge have to disagree about care homes, my partner was in Alderwood care home in Colchester, yes it was expensive but the care and dare i say love she received from the totally committed and understanding staff was first rate and i never had a moments doubt she was being superbly cared for

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Packerman

Sorry Sludge have to disagree about care homes, my partner was in Alderwood care home in Colchester, yes it was expensive but the care and dare i say love she received from the totally committed and understanding staff was first rate and i never had a moments doubt she was being superbly cared for

---

The care home in barry was dirty and had cats running around everywhere

The one in bridgend just left him in his own mess

Its cheaper for my mother , and kinder , for her to be cared for at home with an increased care package than it is to uproot her to the care homes we have locally , they are owned by millionaires and are dreadful

My mother in law is 89 and physically reasonably fit but has recently been diagnosed with Alzheimer's. At the moment she is coping with living in her own home. My wife has to look after all of her financial matters and do her shopping and make sure she eats and takes her meds. The worst part at the moment is that she is irrational and her short term memory has gone so every conversation is the same thing over and over again.
My wife's sister is in Doncaster and doesn't get down very often, so all the day-to-day stuff falls to my wife and me.
It's going to get a lot worse and put a lot of strain on my wife and me.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Packerman

Sorry Sludge have to disagree about care homes, my partner was in Alderwood care home in Colchester, yes it was expensive but the care and dare i say love she received from the totally committed and understanding staff was first rate and i never had a moments doubt she was being superbly cared for

---

My Mother in law was in a home in Llandaff as soon as you walked in there all you could smell was shit and piss,when she went into a different home what a difference.The staff were so caring and it was not a private run home.

Most care homes are brilliant.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by RichardM

My mother in law is 89 and physically reasonably fit but has recently been diagnosed with Alzheimer's. At the moment she is coping with living in her own home. My wife has to look after all of her financial matters and do her shopping and make sure she eats and takes her meds. The worst part at the moment is that she is irrational and her short term memory has gone so every conversation is the same thing over and over again.
My wife's sister is in Doncaster and doesn't get down very often, so all the day-to-day stuff falls to my wife and me.
It's going to get a lot worse and put a lot of strain on my wife and me.

---

You need to get all the help you can , social services, alzheimers society

The day to day stuff fell on me when my old man was ill and its fallen me since my mum became ill , my sisters live two hours away .....not in Australia ......they have done nothing in terms of care and even before covid their idea of giving me a break was to come down Friday night and go home Sunday evening . A six week tour of New Zealand, a week away in New York? Not a problem !

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Hilts

Most care homes are brilliant.

---

How do you know this ?

Private care homes are owned by millionaires and care home staff are poorly paid

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by SLUDGE FACTORY

How do you know this ?

Private care homes are owned by millionaires and care home staff are poorly paid

---

i made my case earlier in the thread, stop generalising, i have only good things to
say about the care my my partner received AND my current partner works in a private care home and her and her co workers are amazing for little money, the care they give is first rate

Sending you love and respect mate I feel your pain.
Love City hate plastics

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Packerman

i made my case earlier in the thread, stop generalising, i have only good things to
say about the care my my partner received AND my current partner works in a private care home and her and her co workers are amazing for little money, the care they give is first rate

---

Well I havnt so thats the way it is , the care my father had was disgraceful

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by insider

Sending you love and respect mate I feel your pain.
Love City hate plastics

---

too right

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by SLUDGE FACTORY

How do you know this ?

Private care homes are owned by millionaires and care home staff are poorly paid

---

I tend to agree ,before Covid a lot of them were being exposed, anything ran as a private business is suspectable to varying standards, you hear good and bad stories , my mum was in one for a short period as she had terminal brain cancer they were lovely ,however I do worry about those homes run in the inner cities .

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by life on mars

I tend to agree ,before Covid a lot of them were being exposed, anything ran as a private business is suspectable to varying standards, you hear good and bad stories , my mum was in one for a short period as she had terminal brain cancer they were lovely ,however I do worry about those homes run in the inner cities .

---

Its a crisis , a bloke in cardiff owned about 8 care homes and was minted

At 1200 a week , no wonder

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by jeepster

My Mother in law was in a home in Llandaff as soon as you walked in there all you could smell was shit and piss,when she went into a different home what a difference.The staff were so caring and it was not a private run home.

---

its a disgrace

My old dear came out of hospital and the council run resurce team consisting of social workers , physios , care workers looked after her until she settled . All clearly paid ok , with holiday entitlement , pension , decent workers rights , they were superb

After a few months they have to hand it over to these private run agencies or homes , privately owned

The privately run carers agency we have put their workers on zero hours contracts and they don't get travel expenses , holiday pay etc

They are pleasant enough carers but the standard of care is poor

A lot of those people who own care agencies also have a stake in privare care homes

Its all going to blow to bits one day