Doncha just know what's gonna happen...

After nine months of lockdowns and deaths; after the furore surrounding Boris' attempt to give Britain a window to party, it's as obvious as the wart on the snozzle on yer face what's gonna happen.

It will be snow on 25 December.

There will be (non) travel chaos.

People who've ventured huge distances to be with their loved ones after hundreds of days of separation - and who should bid their adieus by the 27th - are going to be stranded by snow, unable to shift.

You heard it hear first.

Getcha dosh on it!

Boris will be at chequers he don't care.
Marko O'Drakeford will be down Trecco.
We'll be stuck at home with the mother in law trying to watch the game on the Internet.

pray for Derby fans

it'll be too cold for snow