My best festive wishes to all participants on the politics board. I hope you get the hat that matches your political views from your Christmas Cracker be it red, blue, green, yellow or in some cases tin foil.

I thought I would get in early as we all know that Santa is playing four dimensional chess and Christmas Eve is only the opening move before he exposes Rudolph and several other reindeer and elves as deep state operatives undermining Making Christmas Great Again.

I am sure that Organ Morgan will be along soon to warn that Christmas will be ruined by a financial cataclysm triggered by a collapse in the sub-prime market in Vanuatu or global war coming because of border tensions between Switzerland and Lichtenstein.

I myself will spend today getting a stockpile of Panetone and Stollen at reduced prices and will store it for next year to safeguard against the inevitable disruption to supplies from a no deal Brexit.

Joyeaux Noel a tous!