I roomed with a lad on a stag a couple of years ago and he said he played against some ex Premier League player in 11 a side parks football once. The guy I shared with said that he was a decent player and the ex pro was someone that you think of as "shit" like a Titus Bramble type, and being that he was now about 45 he thought he'd do well against him.

He said it was the most humiliating 90 minutes of his life, he couldn't get anywhere near him. Not that the guy was skinning everybody, he just received the ball in a way that you couldn't tackle him. Ever.