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Thread: The official dreadful pun thread

  1. #26

    Re: The official dreadful pun thread

    I was out with a mate today and I said "lovely day, isn't it?" and he said "yeah, absolutely", so then we got an ice-cream and I said "nice ice-cream" and he said "yeah it is," and then we went for a walk in the churchyard and I said "nice little churchyard" and he said "no, it's not". So then we went for a drive and I said "this is a nice car" and he said "yeah it is", then we put on some music and I said "I like this song, do you?" and he said "yeah, I do", then we stopped and had a look around a cathedral and I said "what an amazing building" and he said "no it's not". So then we flew to Rome and I said "this is a nice flight" and he said "yeah it is", then we walked around the city and I said "what amazing history" and he said "yeah, you're right", then we went off to the Vatican and I said "what an incredible place" and he said "no it's not". I said "why do you say that?" and he said "I disagree on religious grounds".

  2. #27

    Re: The official dreadful pun thread

    Why are there no painkillers in the jungle? Because the parrots eat ‘em all.

  3. #28

    Re: The official dreadful pun thread

    Quote Originally Posted by splott parker View Post
    Why are there no painkillers in the jungle? Because the parrots eat ‘em all.
    I prefer this version
    Why don't the army have painkillers?
    Because the paras et em all

  4. #29
    First Team light up the darkness's Avatar
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    Re: The official dreadful pun thread

    Why do Norway’s naval ships have bar codes ?

    So when they return to port they can Scandinavian

  5. #30

    Re: The official dreadful pun thread

    My mate creosoted my porch recently against my wishes...I've told him to never darken my doors again

  6. #31

    Re: The official dreadful pun thread

    Why did the baker have brown hands?
    ..cos he kneaded a poo..

  7. #32

    Re: The official dreadful pun thread

    I can't drink 5 gallons of diesel............................................ ... Jerry can.

  8. #33

    Re: The official dreadful pun thread

    When I was a child my dad used to put me inside tyres and roll me down the hill.


    They were good years..

  9. #34

    Re: The official dreadful pun thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Vindec View Post
    I can't drink 5 gallons of diesel............................................ ... Jerry can.
    Where I work there were two brothers until a few years ago. Their parents named them William and Jeremy Cann i.e. Billy and Gerry can.

    Oh, and I was up in Shropshire a few weeks ago and I came across estate agent boards which made me wonder what the owner's parents were thinking when they registered his name in full.branch_photo_30693_0004.jpg

  10. #35

    Re: The official dreadful pun thread

    With 2nd lockdown looming, I saw a man with 4 cases of San Miguel, 5 paellas and 7 sombreros, I think Hispanic buying

  11. #36

    Re: The official dreadful pun thread

    What's red and invisible?

    No tomatoes.

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