From a lovely fortnight cruising the Caribbean. Not going to bore you with anecdotes.... bar one. While you’re asleep on the last night your final bill, which has already been taken from your designated bank card, is put in the letter rack outside your cabin door. Anyway, having breakfast on Friday morning, our last morning, there’s an elderly couple on the next table having a right barney. She’s got their invoice in her hand, waving it about, accusing her husband of wasting money, ‘Over £1400 she’s ranting, all on your cabin card’ she’s shouting at him. He’s arguing back, saying he didn’t know what she was on about, by this time me and my missus were right into the conflict, it was heating up tremendously. He grabs the sheet of paper off her, Jesus, he says how did we spend that much, ‘We’ she says ‘You, you mean’ with more venom in her voice. He was scanning the paper looking at all the itemised purchases when he says, ‘Kevin, who the f*ck is Kevin?’ He’d picked up next door’s bill from their rack instead of theirs. Cue another onslaught, ‘Get back down to the cabin ya daft old bugger and hope they’re not out of their room yet’.

They obviously wouldn’t have ‘Kevin’s’ bill deducted from their bank account but the five minute altercation was comedy gold........I’ll always wonder if Kevin picked their bill up without checking the name thinking he’d got a right result.