Just Got In

[splott parker]

From a lovely fortnight cruising the Caribbean. Not going to bore you with anecdotes.... bar one. While you’re asleep on the last night your final bill, which has already been taken from your designated bank card, is put in the letter rack outside your cabin door. Anyway, having breakfast on Friday morning, our last morning, there’s an elderly couple on the next table having a right barney. She’s got their invoice in her hand, waving it about, accusing her husband of wasting money, ‘Over £1400 she’s ranting, all on your cabin card’ she’s shouting at him. He’s arguing back, saying he didn’t know what she was on about, by this time me and my missus were right into the conflict, it was heating up tremendously. He grabs the sheet of paper off her, Jesus, he says how did we spend that much, ‘We’ she says ‘You, you mean’ with more venom in her voice. He was scanning the paper looking at all the itemised purchases when he says, ‘Kevin, who the f*ck is Kevin?’ He’d picked up next door’s bill from their rack instead of theirs. Cue another onslaught, ‘Get back down to the cabin ya daft old bugger and hope they’re not out of their room yet’.

They obviously wouldn’t have ‘Kevin’s’ bill deducted from their bank account but the five minute altercation was comedy gold........I’ll always wonder if Kevin picked their bill up without checking the name thinking he’d got a right result.

[Jordi Culé]

From a lovely fortnight cruising the Caribbean. Not going to bore you with anecdotes.... bar one. While you’re asleep on the last night your final bill, which has already been taken from your designated bank card, is put in the letter rack outside your cabin door. Anyway, having breakfast on Friday morning, our last morning, there’s an elderly couple on the next table having a right barney. She’s got their invoice in her hand, waving it about, accusing her husband of wasting money, ‘Over £1400 she’s ranting, all on your cabin card’ she’s shouting at him. He’s arguing back, saying he didn’t know what she was on about, by this time me and my missus were right into the conflict, it was heating up tremendously. He grabs the sheet of paper off her, Jesus, he says how did we spend that much, ‘We’ she says ‘You, you mean’ with more venom in her voice. He was scanning the paper looking at all the itemised purchases when he says, ‘Kevin, who the f*ck is Kevin?’ He’d picked up next door’s bill from their rack instead of theirs. Cue another onslaught, ‘Get back down to the cabin ya daft old bugger and hope they’re not out of their room yet’.

They obviously wouldn’t have ‘Kevin’s’ bill deducted from their bank account but the five minute altercation was comedy gold........I’ll always wonder if Kevin picked their bill up without checking the name thinking he’d got a right result.

I read this and was hoping you was going to say the old sod getting the grief of his missus had spent the money hanging out of the back of paid tartlets whilst his missus was asleep?

I don’t suppose you can get that service on a cruise mind? Out of interest can you? Asking for a friend?

[SLUDGE FACTORY]

I read this and was hoping you was going to say the old sod getting the grief of his missus had spent the money hanging out of the back of paid tartlets whilst his missus was asleep?

I don’t suppose you can get that service on a cruise mind? Out of interest can you? Asking for a friend?

No , I have tried but it's currently unavailable due to covid

[Jordi Culé]

No , I have tried but it's currently unavailable due to covid

Sludge, you’ve misinterpreted the word ‘cruise’ here. Splott Parker means ‘cruise’ as in boat. Not hanging around Newbridge Fields with your cock half hanging out of your junky juiced smelling Wranglers waiting for participants.

Easy mistake, Ron Davies and George Michael both made it.

[SLUDGE FACTORY]

Sludge, you’ve misinterpreted the word ‘cruise’ here. Splott Parker means ‘cruise’ as in boat. Not hanging around Newbridge Fields with your cock half hanging out of your junky juiced smelling Wranglers waiting for participants.

Easy mistake, Ron Davies and George Michael both made it.

Cardiff Central Gents Toilets

Since 1982

There when it mattered

[Jordi Culé]

Cardiff Central Gents Toilets

Since 1982

There when it mattered

Old school.

*tips hat*

[ninian opinian]

I read this and was hoping you was going to say the old sod getting the grief of his missus had spent the money hanging out of the back of paid tartlets whilst his missus was asleep?

I don’t suppose you can get that service on a cruise mind? Out of interest can you? Asking for a friend?

You’re a charmer! I wonder why no women post on this forum

[Jordi Culé]

You’re a charmer! I wonder why no women post on this forum

Too many liberal, lefty, wishy washy snowflakes probably?

Sex politics has become too confused. Nothing like a bit of harmless banter, sexual innuendo, role play and a pat on the arse to put a lady at ease.

It’s worked every time for Boris Johnson.

[Trigger]

Was waiting for a "and I never watched inspect her gadget with you".

[alfie]

From a lovely fortnight cruising the Caribbean. Not going to bore you with anecdotes.... bar one. While you’re asleep on the last night your final bill, which has already been taken from your designated bank card, is put in the letter rack outside your cabin door. Anyway, having breakfast on Friday morning, our last morning, there’s an elderly couple on the next table having a right barney. She’s got their invoice in her hand, waving it about, accusing her husband of wasting money, ‘Over £1400 she’s ranting, all on your cabin card’ she’s shouting at him. He’s arguing back, saying he didn’t know what she was on about, by this time me and my missus were right into the conflict, it was heating up tremendously. He grabs the sheet of paper off her, Jesus, he says how did we spend that much, ‘We’ she says ‘You, you mean’ with more venom in her voice. He was scanning the paper looking at all the itemised purchases when he says, ‘Kevin, who the f*ck is Kevin?’ He’d picked up next door’s bill from their rack instead of theirs. Cue another onslaught, ‘Get back down to the cabin ya daft old bugger and hope they’re not out of their room yet’.

They obviously wouldn’t have ‘Kevin’s’ bill deducted from their bank account but the five minute altercation was comedy gold........I’ll always wonder if Kevin picked their bill up without checking the name thinking he’d got a right result.

I went on a caribbean cruise about six years ago and although it was lovely i would not do it again. Every time we went to an island we had to be back on the ship at a certain time,approx 8.30pm. Saying that,I would love to go back to Saint Martin, beautiful place.

[Dave Blue]

It’s a great way to see a taster of a new place. By far the worse part of a cruise is being with the entitled Brits on board with that look of superiority, particularly over the hard working staff. People you would avoid at all cost in normal life.

[ninian opinian]

Too many liberal, lefty, wishy washy snowflakes probably?

Sex politics has become too confused. Nothing like a bit of harmless banter, sexual innuendo, role play and a pat on the arse to put a lady at ease.

It’s worked every time for Boris Johnson.

Shows you up for the kind of person you are. Someone needs to check your hard drive. Hope you haven’t got any daughters or nieces

[Jordi Culé]

Shows you up for the kind of person you are. Someone needs to check your hard drive. Hope you haven’t got any daughters or nieces

Ninian, I was taking the piiss.

Chill your tits butt.

Cheers for the character reference mind, can I use you as a referee in the future?

[Feedback]

Shows you up for the kind of person you are. Someone needs to check your hard drive. Hope you haven’t got any daughters or nieces

That thing 8 miles above your head is the joke

[ninian opinian]

Ninian, I was taking the piiss.

Chill your tits butt.

Cheers for the character reference mind, can I use you as a referee in the future?

Just banter hey

[Jordi Culé]

Just banter hey

No. Shiit parody.

Have a beta blocker.

Edit:

It would've been funny if the old lad had been billed for shagging prostitutes mind.

[Tuerto]

Just banter hey

If you read his posts and see what his political and social opinions are, then i'm sure that you would see that he isn't some ignorant Mysogynist.

[ninian opinian]

If you read his posts and see what his political and social opinions are, then i'm sure that you would see that he isn't some ignorant Mysogynist.

That old chestnut. A bit like “I’m not a racist, I’ve got black friends”.

I don’t like crudeness and talking about women like that, never have.

[Tuerto]

That old chestnut. A bit like “I’m not a racist, I’ve got black friends”.

I don’t like crudeness and talking about women like that, never have.

Fair enough, but i think that you fail to see that the joke is aimed at the fat old white fella who has been caught with his pants down so to speak. The language is crude, but the joke wouldn't work if it was said in a more polite and softer tone.

[Jordi Culé]

That old chestnut. A bit like “I’m not a racist, I’ve got black friends”.

I don’t like crudeness and talking about women like that, never have.

Although I feel you’re missing the point, I can see my use of misogynistic and colloquial language has upset you and for that I’ll apologise sincerely.

I’m going to emphasise mind, it was parody.

Yes, that old chestnut.

[ninian opinian]

Although I feel you’re missing the point, I can see my use of misogynistic and colloquial language has upset you and for that I’ll apologise sincerely.

I’m going to emphasise mind, it was parody.

Yes, that old chestnut.

Apology accepted.

[Splott-light...]

Fair enough, but i think that you fail to see that the joke is aimed at the fat old white fella who has been caught with his pants down so to speak. The language is crude, but the joke wouldn't work if it was said in a more polite and softer tone.

at no point did splott parker mention that the fella was fat or white..

..are you assuming black people can't afford to take Caribbean cruises..?

[dembethewarrior]

at no point did splott parker mention that the fella was fat or white..

..are you assuming black people can't afford to take Caribbean cruises..?

[splott parker]

at no point did splott parker mention that the fella was fat or white..

..are you assuming black people can't afford to take Caribbean cruises..?

Indeed I didn’t, perhaps I should have mentioned that I often saw them poolside, her in her burkini and him with his waterproof kippah on his head. Amazing that the only time I witnessed them fall out was over money

[alfie]

at no point did splott parker mention that the fella was fat or white..

..are you assuming black people can't afford to take Caribbean cruises..?

Lol...Im not white