My God, she looks like something out of a Hammer film!

Somehow, some way, she must be related to Red Rum.

And that's after a small army of make-up artists and hair stylists have fussed over her.

Imagine what she looks like first thing in the morning?!

Even Sludge, whose catchphrase is "I'll bonk anything," would hesitate before shimmying out of his codpiece to throw back the duvet, drag her drawers off and throw a leg over it.

Charlie gets plenty of criticism for being big-eared and a boring kent, but nobody can accuse him of being fussy where getting his end away is concerned.

Tomorrow our dear Queen, who will hopefully be triple masked, will address us, her loyal subjects.

It's simply marvellous that she will take ten minutes out of her busy schedule. Republicans and other malcontents will say she should spend longer reassuring people during these troubling times. But with Camilla and co on the plot then she'd fear they would scoff all the trifle if she yapped for any longer.