Believe me, don't bother. I've viewed his CD collection and I'd be amazed if a more egregious one has ever been compiled. Think of all the songs you regard as junk and they are almost certain to feature amongst what he's gathered.

Albums the like of the truly awful The Very Best of Chesney Hawkes is decent compared to virtually everything else that lurks in his CD racks.

Yet he can be aggressively dogmatic when defending his favourite artists. He refuses to acknowledge anything published by Barry Manilow is less than sublime.

Rick Astley is another one he won't tolerate criticism of. "Rick Astley," I said to him once, "Rick fecking Ghastly more like. How can you listen to that shite?!" He sulked for a good 20 minutes afterwards.

What a rotter that guy is!