Reply With QuoteThis was funny!!!!
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Made another visit to Sludge's world yesterday morning. It begun similarly to so many others prior. I saw an upstairs casement window pushed out so shouted up, "feck the Tory Party!" He usually responds by thrusting an arm out to deliver a firm V-sign, instead he waved one of those small plastic Union Jack flags kids shake when the Queen turns up to open something.
He was in a buoyant mood because the first day of spring is less than a week away. That date marks the official start of the 2022 UK dogging season when he will lurk in bushes and shrubbery at remote locations hoping to indulge in sordid proclivities with like-minded trollops.
He's been annoying for months by lecturing me about Climate Change and how we must learn to live with less of everything because people are depleting the world's resources at an unsustainable rate. He was at it again yesterday when bemoaning the starving in Africa and elsewhere - as he gorged on an enormous pork pie.
I asked why he hadn't purchased one half the size to donate the money saved to a charity dedicated to easing the hunger pangs of those suffering from famine. He ignored the question by listing what he had foregone in this "do or die" battle to save the planet. Which turned out to be next to nothing. He saves a little electricity and detergent each week by never including his underpants and vest among his laundry. "I haven't changed my Y-fronts since Christmas," he boasted.
I reckoned he must have the crustiest undies in Cowbridge, perhaps throughout South Wales, maybe all of Western Europe. He seemed flattered. He's long been a stinker figuratively speaking. Now that he is in a literal sense I'll have to remember to pack my nostrils with cotton wool before future trips there.
My gutsy host remained hungry and decamped to the kitchen to do some cheese on toast. He was gone some time. I wondered why he was moaning and sighing so much. He curled his head around the living room door to declare, "I've got a stiff knob," then added, "will you come to take a look?"
It was with some trepidation that I gingerly made my to the kitchen. It was a relief to learn he was talking about the jammed one on the cooker which controls its grill.
This was funny!!!!
Brilliant, as always !!
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