I glanced at my doom-o-meter earlier, the arrow was pointing at number 9 (out of 10), the highest it has ever recorded.

Despite my deep misgivings I shall venture outside by 10am to embark upon another let's get legless all-dayer.

Aside from when kipping I always wear a flat cap at home which is lined inside with Bacofoil. This renders my swede impervious to all pro-state propaganda whether their signals are transmitted through wi-fi or the TV.

On those rare occasions I feel optimistic about world events I watch the video below.