My introduction to religion would have been a grubby old bloke muttering some strange gibberish and wielding a Stanley knife type implement, whilst slicing off a bit of my todger.
Not a great introduction and when old enough to appreciate the finer things in life it turns out I couldn’t go out on a Friday or have a bacon sarnie on a Saturday.
Accordingly, I have adopted the go straight to Hell lifestyle.
As or when I get judged by whichever being is in charge then I do have a few questions and I will be carrying a very blunt blade.