Mine's David. Which is okay, pretty solid. My old man was landed with five middle names, so was his brother. The idea was when old enough they could choose which they wanted to be known by if they didn't like the Christian name their parents chose.

Some hereabout have that as their first name. One is The Lone Gunman. As a typical boyo, addressing him with "alright bach" is sure elicit a response of "tidy butt."

A poster at this forum, a resident of Cowbridge, who I will provide no clues to his identity, has always been extremely touchy about the ludicrous middle name he was saddled with, and he wouldn't thank me for revealing it at this forum as doing so may invite ridicule.

Those such as Rainhard, Sheridan and Rupert are bad enough. They have little hope of devoloping into anything other than a total wanker. But nevertheless those are not nearly as absurd as what his is because it immediately evokes that of some dandy mincing their way through the Royal Court during an episode of Blackadder the Third set 200 years ago.

Anyhow, Mr Mystery's is Darcy. Yes, fecking Darcy!

I rarely miss an oportunity to address him as "Darcy, you kent" as I enjoy watching him grimace.

Can you imagine attempting to join the Labour Party with such a moniker?! Of course not, they'd be told to hop it sharpish.

Nevertheless, it's a poor excuse for him becoming a raving Tory.

What a rotter our unnamed member is!