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Thread: Anyone ever done stand up comedy properly? Advice

  1. #51

    Re: Anyone ever done stand up comedy properly? Advice

    Quote Originally Posted by uncle bob View Post
    Training was pretty basic tonight. Just introducing ourselves and a quick story of who our favourite comedians are and one simple joke.
    My memory is so so bad. I've written about 20 jokes to fill in about 5 minutes of stage time but I couldn't get through telling just one without me stuttering and quivering in front of 25 people who were all in my shoes.
    Some who were there were like me had never done it before and others were doing it for the umpteenth time.
    I realised tonight karaoke confidence is completely different to telling a joke in front of total strangers or to your mates.
    It can only get better with practice
    I can empathise with your final sentence. I've got up at open mic nights and played guitar, but however bad you are if everyone knows the song they'll sing along. Its completely different standing on stage telling a gag you've written and trying to make people laugh. Scariest thing Ive done in my life, but im pleased i had a go.

  2. #52

    Re: Anyone ever done stand up comedy properly? Advice

    Having read Kevin Hart and Kevin Bridges books , the one thing they had in common is they put in 100,s and 100,s of hours getting slaughtered on stage ,people not laughing .
    Good luck Bob its a long road , but they will tell you worth it now

  3. #53
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    Re: Anyone ever done stand up comedy properly? Advice

    This is advice about being a stand up comedian from Rhod Gilbert. I’ve tried to remember exactly what was said to share .

    It may be useful. !

    Comedians have different styles. What works for Tim Vine is completely different from what works for Dara OBrain.
    My guess would be that your humour would come from being the ‘bloke in a bar’ . Taxi drivers must have a load of funny stories about the passengers or places.

    This style involves you telling a story as if you were chatting to a bloke in a bar over a beer.
    Relaxed, you only have to remember the key points and the punch line. But you have to practice the timing of your delivery.
    First get the key points of the story/stories down in writing. Some comedians use a white board or flip charts Then tell the story to yourself in a mirror. Practice the movement and gestures which underlines the points which keep your story on the track towards your punch line. Hands, body language, gestures, eye movements all contribute to getting the audience engaged and interested

    When you think you have ironed out the presentation you can try it for real on friends and or family and seek honest feedback. It’s not about whether or not they think what you are saying is funny to them but rhythm and timing of how you present it. Practice practice practice

    That’s all I can remember but I wish you well. You’ll sort it out for your self as you go along.

  4. #54

    Re: Anyone ever done stand up comedy properly? Advice

    Quote Originally Posted by uncle bob View Post
    Training was pretty basic tonight. Just introducing ourselves and a quick story of who our favourite comedians are and one simple joke.
    My memory is so so bad. I've written about 20 jokes to fill in about 5 minutes of stage time but I couldn't get through telling just one without me stuttering and quivering in front of 25 people who were all in my shoes.
    Some who were there were like me had never done it before and others were doing it for the umpteenth time.
    I realised tonight karaoke confidence is completely different to telling a joke in front of total strangers or to your mates.
    It can only get better with practice
    Best of luck with it bob - something I could never do, so you have my admiration

  5. #55
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    Re: Anyone ever done stand up comedy properly? Advice

    This is a story I did to an expat comedy night in Ho Chi Minh. A mixed crowd of English, American and Australian mainly.

    So… I’m standing at the lights on xxxx street waiting for the smallest gap in the traffic to allow me the opportunity of being run over by a mad local on a motorcycle .

    I’m looking around and catch the eye of a guy who owns the shop on the corner.
    I look into the shop and all the shelves are bare. It’s empty.

    So I said to him ‘Alright mate. Business must be good ‘ gesturing to the shop.

    ‘No. Business is crap’ he said
    ‘You’re joking your shops empty. What do you sell ?

    He said ‘Shelves’

  6. #56

    Re: Anyone ever done stand up comedy properly? Advice

    Cheers for the advice all and for the good wishes.
    There will be a video being given to us of our nights performance so I will share it when it becomes available.
    The gig is in prism on Greyfriars Road on 27th November a Sunday and I'm going to just practice practice practice when I can. Cheers

  7. #57

    Re: Anyone ever done stand up comedy properly? Advice

    Quote Originally Posted by uncle bob View Post
    Cheers for the advice all and for the good wishes.
    There will be a video being given to us of our nights performance so I will share it when it becomes available.
    The gig is in prism on Greyfriars Road on 27th November a Sunday and I'm going to just practice practice practice when I can. Cheers
    You've got a set of balls on you mate, I couldn't do it. Good luck!

  8. #58

    Re: Anyone ever done stand up comedy properly? Advice

    good luck uncle bob, I wouldn't know but it seems like something you'll grow into, the more stage hours the more confident you'll become

  9. #59
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    Re: Anyone ever done stand up comedy properly? Advice

    Never done stand up but I do have to do public speaking as part of my job.

    As others have said 5 minutes is a long time to talk with no one to feed off.

    Best advice I can give is do your prep and practise it on a family member first ,to get the delivery sorted.

    On the night remember to control the speed of your delivery and if you have a prop , such as a microphone, then use it ,as for reasons unknown they do seem to have a calming effect.

    Always but always have a few put downs tucked away in order to deal with hecklers, drunks and idiots.

    Good luck.



    Good luck.

  10. #60

    Re: Anyone ever done stand up comedy properly? Advice

    Quote Originally Posted by light up the darkness View Post
    This is a story I did to an expat comedy night in Ho Chi Minh. A mixed crowd of English, American and Australian mainly.

    So… I’m standing at the lights on xxxx street waiting for the smallest gap in the traffic to allow me the opportunity of being run over by a mad local on a motorcycle .

    I’m looking around and catch the eye of a guy who owns the shop on the corner.
    I look into the shop and all the shelves are bare. It’s empty.

    So I said to him ‘Alright mate. Business must be good ‘ gesturing to the shop.

    ‘No. Business is crap’ he said
    ‘You’re joking your shops empty. What do you sell ?

    He said ‘Shelves’
    Did anyone laugh?

  11. #61

    Re: Anyone ever done stand up comedy properly? Advice

    Quote Originally Posted by uncle bob View Post
    Cheers for the advice all and for the good wishes.
    There will be a video being given to us of our nights performance so I will share it when it becomes available.
    The gig is in prism on Greyfriars Road on 27th November a Sunday and I'm going to just practice practice practice when I can. Cheers
    I am fairly sure Colonel Gaddafi used to be a stand up comedian , might be worth giving him a shout .

  12. #62

    Re: Anyone ever done stand up comedy properly? Advice

    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy the Jock View Post
    Did anyone laugh?
    I quite liked it

  13. #63

    Re: Anyone ever done stand up comedy properly? Advice

    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy the Jock View Post
    I am fairly sure Colonel Gaddafi used to be a stand up comedian , might be worth giving him a shout .
    He died in 2011

  14. #64

    Re: Anyone ever done stand up comedy properly? Advice

    Quote Originally Posted by delmbox View Post
    I quite liked it
    Yes I thought it was great

  15. #65

    Re: Anyone ever done stand up comedy properly? Advice

    Quote Originally Posted by Rjk View Post
    He died in 2011
    Really?

    I know he hasnt posted on here for a while.

    Ah hang on Cardaffi ....

  16. #66

    Re: Anyone ever done stand up comedy properly? Advice

    I am really struggling with this comedy gig I've volunteered to do for charity.
    For those that know me well I'm usually a pretty confident type of person in general. But after week 3 of training, I am starting to doubt I can do this I am really finding it difficult to get up and present my 5 mins worth of material without getting all flustered and just not able to remember anything I've wrote.
    My mind is just going completely blank when I get up in front of people and then I'm just stuttering and going into a sweat.

    I believe it has now started effecting my day to day living so much so that my anxiety levels and blood pressure readings have hit an all time high.
    So much so that it's on red on the machine saying seek immediate medical help.

    I won't be dropping out as this should be a dream come true for me. But I just don't think I'll be able to function properly on the night and will balls it all up spectacularly in front of all my family and friends.
    It's only 5 minutes I have to do but I've never experienced pressure like this it's absolutely mental torture.
    Anyway, that's week 3 update.

    Fingers crossed I don't have a clutcher before the gig. ❤️❤️🤞😂😂

  17. #67

    Re: Anyone ever done stand up comedy properly? Advice

    Quote Originally Posted by uncle bob View Post
    I am really struggling with this comedy gig I've volunteered to do for charity.
    For those that know me well I'm usually a pretty confident type of person in general. But after week 3 of training, I am starting to doubt I can do this I am really finding it difficult to get up and present my 5 mins worth of material without getting all flustered and just not able to remember anything I've wrote.
    My mind is just going completely blank when I get up in front of people and then I'm just stuttering and going into a sweat.

    I believe it has now started effecting my day to day living so much so that my anxiety levels and blood pressure readings have hit an all time high.
    So much so that it's on red on the machine saying seek immediate medical help.

    I won't be dropping out as this should be a dream come true for me. But I just don't think I'll be able to function properly on the night and will balls it all up spectacularly in front of all my family and friends.
    It's only 5 minutes I have to do but I've never experienced pressure like this it's absolutely mental torture.
    Anyway, that's week 3 update.

    Fingers crossed I don't have a clutcher before the gig. ❤️❤️🤞😂😂
    If you are worried about losing your lines you could always try this:

    "Fornication". Get your notes out of your pocket and say "Apologies. For an occasion" Then keep your notes for the remaining 4 minutes.

  18. #68

    Re: Anyone ever done stand up comedy properly? Advice

    Here’s an opening joke for you Bob.
    Pete the serial flasher, is thinking of retiring, but he’s decided to stick it out for another year!

  19. #69

    Re: Anyone ever done stand up comedy properly? Advice

    Quote Originally Posted by uncle bob View Post
    I am really struggling with this comedy gig I've volunteered to do for charity.
    For those that know me well I'm usually a pretty confident type of person in general. But after week 3 of training, I am starting to doubt I can do this I am really finding it difficult to get up and present my 5 mins worth of material without getting all flustered and just not able to remember anything I've wrote.
    My mind is just going completely blank when I get up in front of people and then I'm just stuttering and going into a sweat.

    I believe it has now started effecting my day to day living so much so that my anxiety levels and blood pressure readings have hit an all time high.
    So much so that it's on red on the machine saying seek immediate medical help.

    I won't be dropping out as this should be a dream come true for me. But I just don't think I'll be able to function properly on the night and will balls it all up spectacularly in front of all my family and friends.
    It's only 5 minutes I have to do but I've never experienced pressure like this it's absolutely mental torture.
    Anyway, that's week 3 update.

    Fingers crossed I don't have a clutcher before the gig. ❤️❤️������
    Why don't you put some notes on your hand/watch/sellotaped to the stage.

    Even take a few props in a bag. Put the subjects ona list inside the bag. Simple props along the line of Tommy Cooper like 'one liner' etc. If it keeps you on track if you're forgetting it then well worth thinking about and can pad out the act too.

  20. #70

    Re: Anyone ever done stand up comedy properly? Advice

    You won’t see better stand up comedy than what was served up at QPR last night, I was in tears for most of it.

  21. #71
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    Re: Anyone ever done stand up comedy properly? Advice

    Starmers gag yesterday wasn't bad for him, gone by Christmas, although it could have been gone by tomorrow!

  22. #72

    Re: Anyone ever done stand up comedy properly? Advice

    Here’s one for you Uncle Bob….
    Fancied fish and chips for my tea so popped down the local chippy
    I said to the fella “ Hey mate that fish is still alive!!!”
    He says no it’s definitely dead what makes you say that?
    “Cos it’s eaten half my chips”

  23. #73

    Re: Anyone ever done stand up comedy properly? Advice

    Quote Originally Posted by William Treseder View Post
    Here’s an opening joke for you Bob.
    Pete the serial flasher, is thinking of retiring, but he’s decided to stick it out for another year!
    I gave a slight chuckle to this yesterday.
    Early hours of Friday morning, drinking copious amounts of beer in a bar, I almost spat my beer out with laughter!

  24. #74

    Re: Anyone ever done stand up comedy properly? Advice

    Just say you are a Cardiff City supporter. That should get a few laughs and possibly an introduction to some football jokes.

  25. #75

    Re: Anyone ever done stand up comedy properly? Advice

    Did you hear the joke about the footballer who spent some of his money on booze women and fast cars? The rest he squandered.

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