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Thread: I can't take anymore!

  1. #1

    I can't take anymore!

    Got home from work today and my dog wasn't well, had runny shit all over the bloody floor, obviously a stomach upset or something similar? May i add that this little anecdote isn't about the dog. I let her out into the back garden and she hid under a bush and stayed there until i picked her up and brought her in. This concerned me, as anyone who has ever had a sick Animal knows that when it'd the time, they hide themselves away, somewhere nice and cool, like under a bush.

    When my wife returned home i told her about the runny poo and how Wanda(the dog) had hid under the bush looking a bit sad. I told her about my concern over her hiding herself away, giving me reason why i was worried. She replied-" Maybe she was just embarrassed because she'd shit herself" **** me, what am i supposed to say....

    The dogs fine now though, so who knows..

  2. #2

    Re: I can't take anymore!

    Quote Originally Posted by Tuerto View Post
    Got home from work today and my dog wasn't well, had runny shit all over the bloody floor, obviously a stomach upset or something similar? May i add that this little anecdote isn't about the dog. I let her out into the back garden and she hid under a bush and stayed there until i picked her up and brought her in. This concerned me, as anyone who has ever had a sick Animal knows that when it'd the time, they hide themselves away, somewhere nice and cool, like under a bush.

    When my wife returned home i told her about the runny poo and how Wanda(the dog) had hid under the bush looking a bit sad. I told her about my concern over her hiding herself away, giving me reason why i was worried. She replied-" Maybe she was just embarrassed because she'd shit herself" **** me, what am i supposed to say....

    The dogs fine now though, so who knows..
    Poor dog is petrified of you. What are you doing to it?lol

  3. #3

    Re: I can't take anymore!

    Quote Originally Posted by Tuerto View Post
    Got home from work today and my dog wasn't well, had runny shit all over the bloody floor, obviously a stomach upset or something similar? May i add that this little anecdote isn't about the dog. I let her out into the back garden and she hid under a bush and stayed there until i picked her up and brought her in. This concerned me, as anyone who has ever had a sick Animal knows that when it'd the time, they hide themselves away, somewhere nice and cool, like under a bush.

    When my wife returned home i told her about the runny poo and how Wanda(the dog) had hid under the bush looking a bit sad. I told her about my concern over her hiding herself away, giving me reason why i was worried. She replied-" Maybe she was just embarrassed because she'd shit herself" **** me, what am i supposed to say....

    The dogs fine now though, so who knows..
    A friend of mine said that a bird we saw seemed to be happy as it was wagging its tail. It was a wagtail.

  4. #4

    Re: I can't take anymore!

    Quote Originally Posted by Taunton Blue Genie View Post
    A friend of mine said that a bird we saw seemed to be happy as it was wagging its tail. It was a wagtail.

  5. #5

    Re: I can't take anymore!

    Quote Originally Posted by Tuerto View Post
    Got home from work today and my dog wasn't well, had runny shit all over the bloody floor, obviously a stomach upset or something similar? May i add that this little anecdote isn't about the dog. I let her out into the back garden and she hid under a bush and stayed there until i picked her up and brought her in. This concerned me, as anyone who has ever had a sick Animal knows that when it'd the time, they hide themselves away, somewhere nice and cool, like under a bush.

    When my wife returned home i told her about the runny poo and how Wanda(the dog) had hid under the bush looking a bit sad. I told her about my concern over her hiding herself away, giving me reason why i was worried. She replied-" Maybe she was just embarrassed because she'd shit herself" **** me, what am i supposed to say....

    The dogs fine now though, so who knows..
    Life's a bitch called Wanda!..................hope she's OK.

  6. #6

    Re: I can't take anymore!

    Quote Originally Posted by Citizen's Nephew View Post
    Life's a bitch called Wanda!..................hope she's OK.
    Yeah, she's fine. My wife spins me the **** out sometimes though I'm just waiting for someone to tell me that dogs get embarrassed....

  7. #7
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    Re: I can't take anymore!

    Quote Originally Posted by Tuerto View Post
    Yeah, she's fine. My wife spins me the **** out sometimes though I'm just waiting for someone to tell me that dogs get embarrassed....
    They know when they've done something their human might get angry about without a doubt. That's probably why she tried to hide from you.
    The know who is the alpha male even if humans don't.

  8. #8

    Re: I can't take anymore!

    Quote Originally Posted by xsnaggle View Post
    They know when they've done something their human might get angry about without a doubt. That's probably why she tried to hide from you.
    The know who is the alpha male even if humans don't.
    My dog usually doesn't give a shit, apart from this occasion

  9. #9

    Re: I can't take anymore!

    Quote Originally Posted by Tuerto View Post
    Got home from work today and my dog wasn't well, had runny shit all over the bloody floor, obviously a stomach upset or something similar? May i add that this little anecdote isn't about the dog. I let her out into the back garden and she hid under a bush and stayed there until i picked her up and brought her in. This concerned me, as anyone who has ever had a sick Animal knows that when it'd the time, they hide themselves away, somewhere nice and cool, like under a bush.

    When my wife returned home i told her about the runny poo and how Wanda(the dog) had hid under the bush looking a bit sad. I told her about my concern over her hiding herself away, giving me reason why i was worried. She replied-" Maybe she was just embarrassed because she'd shit herself" **** me, what am i supposed to say....

    The dogs fine now though, so who knows..
    Dogs are far more intelligent than humans end of story. I don't know about you but I've never come across a Tory supporting dog in my life!

  10. #10

    Re: I can't take anymore!

    Quote Originally Posted by Tuerto View Post
    Got home from work today and my dog wasn't well, had runny shit all over the bloody floor, obviously a stomach upset or something similar? May i add that this little anecdote isn't about the dog. I let her out into the back garden and she hid under a bush and stayed there until i picked her up and brought her in. This concerned me, as anyone who has ever had a sick Animal knows that when it'd the time, they hide themselves away, somewhere nice and cool, like under a bush.

    When my wife returned home i told her about the runny poo and how Wanda(the dog) had hid under the bush looking a bit sad. I told her about my concern over her hiding herself away, giving me reason why i was worried. She replied-" Maybe she was just embarrassed because she'd shit herself" **** me, what am i supposed to say....

    The dogs fine now though, so who knows..
    I LOL'd at that one.

  11. #11

    Re: I can't take anymore!

    Quote Originally Posted by Dorcus View Post
    Dogs are far more intelligent than humans end of story. I don't know about you but I've never come across a Tory supporting dog in my life!
    Those poncey , 3000 quid a puppy types .....French bulldogs etc ......tory scum

  12. #12

    Re: I can't take anymore!

    Quote Originally Posted by SLUDGE FACTORY View Post
    Those poncey , 3000 quid a puppy types .....French bulldogs etc ......tory scum
    As are their owners

    3000 quid on a dog ?

  13. #13

    Re: I can't take anymore!

    Quote Originally Posted by xsnaggle View Post
    They know when they've done something their human might get angry about without a doubt. That's probably why she tried to hide from you.
    The know who is the alpha male even if humans don't.
    My current dog is my seventh and, by a distance, she’d make the worst poker player of the lot of them - she makes it so obvious when she’s done something wrong. She’s also got an inborn instinct, because I certainly didn’t teach her it, to go and crap in long grass or out of the way places if she possibly can.

    If I came home to the sort of thing Tuerto did, my dog’s response on seeing me would, almost certainly, tell me something was wrong even before I discovered what she’d done.

  14. #14

    Re: I can't take anymore!

    Dogs can be trained to guide the blind, to sniff out drugs and even illnesses and a lot else. It's such a pity they can't be trained to defecate at home.

  15. #15
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    11,614

    Re: I can't take anymore!

    Quote Originally Posted by Taunton Blue Genie View Post
    Dogs can be trained to guide the blind, to sniff out drugs and even illnesses and a lot else. It's such a pity they can't be trained to NOT defecate at home.

  16. #16

    Re: I can't take anymore!

    Quote Originally Posted by xsnaggle View Post
    Best phone a friend, old fruit.

  17. #17

    Re: I can't take anymore!

    Quote Originally Posted by Tuerto View Post
    Got home from work today and my dog wasn't well, had runny shit all over the bloody floor, obviously a stomach upset or something similar? May i add that this little anecdote isn't about the dog. I let her out into the back garden and she hid under a bush and stayed there until i picked her up and brought her in. This concerned me, as anyone who has ever had a sick Animal knows that when it'd the time, they hide themselves away, somewhere nice and cool, like under a bush.

    When my wife returned home i told her about the runny poo and how Wanda(the dog) had hid under the bush looking a bit sad. I told her about my concern over her hiding herself away, giving me reason why i was worried. She replied-" Maybe she was just embarrassed because she'd shit herself" **** me, what am i supposed to say....

    The dogs fine now though, so who knows..
    Your wife maybe correct. Years ago we had a dog that would get up and walk embarrassingly out of the room if it farted.

  18. #18

    Re: I can't take anymore!

    Did you know you were being filmed?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xdBAJYEpFpE

  19. #19

    Re: I can't take anymore!

    Shit! Maybe she was right. Best delete this thread, she may see it. I spent a good hour taking the piss out of her yesterday about it as well. Even told the neighbours! My wife is absolute gold though. A few months back she came running up stairs to tell me that a bird had flown into the kitchen, through the window, and died. I went down stairs to investigate and found that it was a plastic ornamental owl that had blown off the window sill due to the window being open. She even bought it herself and placed it there. Maybe the joke is on me!

  20. #20

    Re: I can't take anymore!

    Quote Originally Posted by Elwood Blues View Post
    Did you know you were being filmed?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xdBAJYEpFpE
    Is that Organ Morgan (and wearing a coat too)?

  21. #21

    Re: I can't take anymore!

    Quote Originally Posted by Elwood Blues View Post
    Did you know you were being filmed?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xdBAJYEpFpE
    That's pretty much me on most evenings! Great acting by the way.

  22. #22

    Re: I can't take anymore!

    Quote Originally Posted by Tuerto View Post
    That's pretty much me on most evenings! Great acting by the way.
    That was me after the home match against Swansea last season!!!

    Sad to think that Finch died only a year later before he received his well deserved Oscar. The firs posthumous best actor

  23. #23

    Re: I can't take anymore!

    Quote Originally Posted by Tuerto View Post
    That's pretty much me on most evenings! Great acting by the way.
    I thought of this too when I read your thread title yesterday. Have you seen Network? Give it a go if you haven't.

  24. #24

    Re: I can't take anymore!

    Quote Originally Posted by Elwood Blues View Post
    That was me after the home match against Swansea last season!!!

    Sad to think that Finch died only a year later before he received his well deserved Oscar. The firs posthumous best actor
    I'd forgotten about that. Brilliant performance. Brilliant film.

  25. #25

    Re: I can't take anymore!

    Quote Originally Posted by Tuerto View Post
    Shit! Maybe she was right. Best delete this thread, she may see it. I spent a good hour taking the piss out of her yesterday about it as well. Even told the neighbours! My wife is absolute gold though. A few months back she came running up stairs to tell me that a bird had flown into the kitchen, through the window, and died. I went down stairs to investigate and found that it was a plastic ornamental owl that had blown off the window sill due to the window being open. She even bought it herself and placed it there. Maybe the joke is on me!
    The above reminded me of an incident that happened when I and what was then my partner returned home after a holiday. She was someone who believed in clairvoyants and the 'spirituality' whereas I have always tended to consider psychology and rationality in the first instance.
    We arrived back in the 400-year-old house we had (and which oozed history) and she went indoors as I parked the cars and extracted out suitcases. She came running out of the house and saying that she didn't want to go back in. She uttered something about roses as I brushed passed her and entered the kitchen.
    The dried roses that had been delicately placed in bunches on the top of the kitchen cabinets were arrange in what seemed to be a perfect circle on the ground and with all the 'flower ends' in the centre and the stalks radiating in a 360 degree circle. As I tried to settle her down and tell her that there must be a rational explanation I was starting to feel unsettled myself. Even if someone had broken in it would have been a pretty weird thing to do.
    I searched the house and the rational explanation unfolded: a blackbird had descended our chimney in the lounge, flown around the kitchen and knocking the roses onto the floor, flew around the house in search of an escape route and eventually died upstairs.

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