On Monday I went to the Chronic Pain Clinic, suffering from a really bad spell of chronic spinal pain (a few weeks now) only to be told that there's no more to be done other than a very risky spinal injection. The MS Team offer nothing else other than the obscene amounts of prescription drugs (class C) I'm already on. I want to be taking Medical Cannabis (Sativex) and it's still unavailable to me in Wales.

The consultants make you feel guilty for being dependent on the very drugs they prescribe. I'm sick of it.

I'll now be buying it from Scotland but I have to go through private scripts which I'm lucky I can afford.

If I wanted to take Heroin, I could go and buy some within 10 minutes of where I live. Of course I'm not going to but I've really reached the point where I'm so fed up with the gatekeepers who don't have to live with a condition which, if this carries on, will permanently confine me to a wheelchair.

I don't feel sorry for myself. I'm in pain. I'm still managing to keep going but f*ck me it's hard work. I don't want sympathy or tea and biscuits. I want to be able to choose my own treatments and not be constantly thwarted by health professionals.

On top of all this, CCFC have sent my Christmas jumper to my old address. Seriously. Could it get much worse?

I guess this qualifies as a rant.