Parents

[dembethewarrior]

Why are so many of them so ****ing shit?

I do absolutely everything I can to ensure mine gets brought up in a happy environment, she's comfortable talking to me up here and her mum and dad down there...we all do everything that we can to ensure she is given the best possible chance in life.

And being honest, it's not really that hard to do. Nobody deserves a reward for looking after their own kids, if you bring them up right it can be really ****ing easy as they tend to work with you as they get older and can see you've got their best interest at heart, so why do so many people fail so badly at this?

I'm not talking about difficult kids, you get them, I'm on about the people that can't be arsed to parent. Rather get in from work and watch 5 hours of TV after work and spend their money on fags and booze, never help with homework and just palm the kids off on their consoles and tablets.

What's all that about?

[Eric the Half a Bee]

just palm the kids off on their consoles and tablets

Pretty sure that's illegal.

[dembethewarrior]

Pretty sure that's illegal.

Bang goes the thread.

No thoughts on it?

[bobh]

Why are so many of them so ****ing shit?

I do absolutely everything I can to ensure mine gets brought up in a happy environment, she's comfortable talking to me up here and her mum and dad down there...we all do everything that we can to ensure she is given the best possible chance in life.

And being honest, it's not really that hard to do. Nobody deserves a reward for looking after their own kids, if you bring them up right it can be really ****ing easy as they tend to work with you as they get older and can see you've got their best interest at heart, so why do so many people fail so badly at this?

I'm not talking about difficult kids, you get them, I'm on about the people that can't be arsed to parent. Rather get in from work and watch 5 hours of TV after work and spend their money on fags and booze, never help with homework and just palm the kids off on their consoles and tablets.

What's all that about?

I totally agree.
My 4 are adults now and all are "kids" to be proud of - and my 2 grandsons look like turning out well, too.
But my mrs works in a school, and she says many of the parents just don't seem to care - resulting in some little horrors running riot during the day.

[Eric the Half a Bee]

Bang goes the thread.

No thoughts on it?

Yes. There are lazy parents of course but the whole post smacked of you being holier than thou.

[Des Parrot]

This thread could go anyway. I’ve got 4 boys, now between 24 & 38 and I’d change lots of things now I’m decades older. For sure we could have done many things better. One person’s perfect parent is different to another.

[Rjk]

everyone's idea of good parenting is different though, some people slog their guts out to earn more so they can spend a fortune they don't have on ridiculous Christmas gifts like PS5 etc anything to make the kids happy
and they do everything for their kids, cooking cleaning helping with homework etc
my partner is Chinese - and to her that would be extremely bad parenting, her kid is expected to clean up after himself and make himself breakfast, needs to manage his own homework and make sure it is all completed and if she thinks it's not done to a high enough standard she'd make him do it again, or if he hasn't got "enough" homework she will buy some more exercise books for him to study.
if he does something wrong then she's super strict on him.
the worst thing you can do as a Chinese parent is to be too soft on your kids, it's easier for you in the short term but it doesn't benefit the kid in the long term

[Maurice Swan]

everyone's idea of good parenting is different though, some people slog their guts out to earn more so they can spend a fortune they don't have on ridiculous Christmas gifts like PS5 etc anything to make the kids happy
and they do everything for their kids, cooking cleaning helping with homework etc
my partner is Chinese - and to her that would be extremely bad parenting, her kid is expected to clean up after himself and make himself breakfast, needs to manage his own homework and make sure it is all completed and if she thinks it's not done to a high enough standard she'd make him do it again, or if he hasn't got "enough" homework she will buy some more exercise books for him to study.
if he does something wrong then she's super strict on him.
the worst thing you can do as a Chinese parent is to be too soft on your kids, it's easier for you in the short term but it doesn't benefit the kid in the long term

My wife is Thai and is the same(!) Maybe it's a culture thing. Despite my longevity my two boys of ten and four are being brought up to be polite and to appreciate the value of things......and the elder to clear away, make his bed properly etc. They don't want for anything but do not over-indulge them. Sadly (but also perhaps a blessing...) my eldest shows no signs of enthusiasm for CCFC (or any other team come to that...

[North Cardiff Blue]

everyone's idea of good parenting is different though, some people slog their guts out to earn more so they can spend a fortune they don't have on ridiculous Christmas gifts like PS5 etc anything to make the kids happy
and they do everything for their kids, cooking cleaning helping with homework etc
my partner is Chinese - and to her that would be extremely bad parenting, her kid is expected to clean up after himself and make himself breakfast, needs to manage his own homework and make sure it is all completed and if she thinks it's not done to a high enough standard she'd make him do it again, or if he hasn't got "enough" homework she will buy some more exercise books for him to study.
if he does something wrong then she's super strict on him.
the worst thing you can do as a Chinese parent is to be too soft on your kids, it's easier for you in the short term but it doesn't benefit the kid in the long term

Work hard, show them the benefits of working hard, and buy in as good an area as you can afford, so you're kids get semi-private education, ie schools in Lisvane have better-behaved kids than the schools in the shit areas.

Of course, your kids could still fall in with some kid that wants to do drugs, drink, and be a tool and not aspire to do anything, but the chances are greatly reduced.

Also, spend as much free time with them as you can and take them to nice places and involve them with as many sports and activities as possible, take them out on bikes canoes whatever you can.

The rest should be standard, work hard, respect the family, help around the house from an early age, be polite, don't swear with family etc.

It's not really hard and should come naturally.

[dembethewarrior]

Yes. There are lazy parents of course but the whole post smacked of you being holier than thou.

Why?

[dembethewarrior]

I totally agree.
My 4 are adults now and all are "kids" to be proud of - and my 2 grandsons look like turning out well, too.
But my mrs works in a school, and she says many of the parents just don't seem to care - resulting in some little horrors running riot during the day.

You've only got to walk about your community to see them..

I just think giving your kids a steady environment and giving them encouragement etc is so easy to do.

Rjk, I know what you mean, but not really what I was getting at tbh 👍

[dembethewarrior]

Why?

Come on the ln Eric, what were you insinuating here?

[RichardM]

This thread could go anyway. I’ve got 4 boys, now between 24 & 38 and I’d change lots of things now I’m decades older. For sure we could have done many things better. One person’s perfect parent is different to another.

Do you find the way you brought them up changed with the younger ones?
I have three, similar ages to yours. Looking back we didn't really know what we were doing with the first, kind of learning as we went along. By the time e had the third we had got the hang of it.

[Des Parrot]

Do you find the way you brought them up changed with the younger ones?
I have three, similar ages to yours. Looking back we didn't really know what we were doing with the first, kind of learning as we went along. By the time e had the third we had got the hang of it.

Totally, great call. I was a lot tougher on the older two. There’s 8 years between 2nd & 3rd and the youngest two had a lot more latitude and got away with more.

[Tuerto]

Totally, great call. I was a lot tougher on the older two. There’s 8 years between 2nd & 3rd and the youngest two had a lot more latitude and got away with more.

Same with me Des, my youngest, who is 17, gets away with a fair bit that the other two couldn't have.

[Heathblue]

Same with me Des, my youngest, who is 17, gets away with a fair bit that the other two couldn't have.

Just slightly changing gears but on topic, I hated then and still do, the expectation that the father is the one supposed to be in control of the discipline, "wait till your father gets home" i think this attitude often caused problems for fathers as they would be the ones who were telling the kids no, next time you do that it's bed early for you etc.

[Tuerto]

Just slightly changing gears but on topic, I hated then and still do, the expectation that the father is the one supposed to be in control of the discipline, "wait till your father gets home" i think this attitude often caused problems for fathers as they would be the ones who were telling the kids no, next time you do that it's bed early for you etc.

Yeah, it does sort of paint men as monsters, although i'm sure that it was never meant that way, or maybe it goes back to the days when fathers dished out a leathering. I'm sure that whatever my kids were getting up to, that when i arrived home i would join in with them

[insider]

This is one of the biggest give yourself a pat on the back threads I've ever read.

[dembethewarrior]

This is one of the biggest give yourself a pat on the back threads I've ever read.

I didn't even have to read your post once I saw your name to know it was going to be negative 👍

[Heathblue]

Why are so many of them so ****ing shit?

I do absolutely everything I can to ensure mine gets brought up in a happy environment, she's comfortable talking to me up here and her mum and dad down there...we all do everything that we can to ensure she is given the best possible chance in life.

And being honest, it's not really that hard to do. Nobody deserves a reward for looking after their own kids, if you bring them up right it can be really ****ing easy as they tend to work with you as they get older and can see you've got their best interest at heart, so why do so many people fail so badly at this?

I'm not talking about difficult kids, you get them, I'm on about the people that can't be arsed to parent. Rather get in from work and watch 5 hours of TV after work and spend their money on fags and booze, never help with homework and just palm the kids off on their consoles and tablets.

What's all that about?

I have two, 30 & 40 respectively and couldn't be any prouder of the pair of them. Working away for periods when they they born, very young, their mother is the one who steered them into who they are, I'll duck the nub of your point, there are so many reasons IMO why some parenting isn't what it could be but the only reason I'd put my opinion to, is that the nuclear family has been deliberately destroyed. (It's political and I'm not going there).

[SLUDGE FACTORY]

What really pisses me off is going down to the doctors surgery for an appointment

A parent or parents with a kid or couple of kids running around screaming like we all know kids can .....and it's really annoying I am sure we can agree

A decent parent lays the law down in a good way to that kid , gives them attention , praises them and things generally calm down , everyone's happy

But so often the parent does nothing or sits there on their mobile bloody phones

I sometimes wonder why some people become parents if they can't bring them up

[Wales-Bales]

What really pisses me off is going down to the doctors surgery for an appointment

A parent or parents with a kid or couple of kids running around screaming like we all know kids can .....and it's really annoying I am sure we can agree

A decent parent lays the law down in a good way to that kid , gives them attention , praises them and things generally calm down , everyone's happy

But so often the parent does nothing or sits there on their mobile bloody phones

I sometimes wonder why some people become parents if they can't bring them up

I'd pay double to go to an adults only surgery.

[goats]

I'd pay double to go to an adults only surgery.

Can we have a separate one for oldies too? Now that would save us all who rarely go countless wasted hours.

[goats]

Everyone has different values and views on this, plenty of divorces to back it up too….
It’s a fine balance between spoiling, doing stuff for them and letting them learn how to do stuff themselves. Never judge anyone’s parenting ways….personally I love it and have time to give them but many don’t and have many stresses.

[dembethewarrior]

I have two, 30 & 40 respectively and couldn't be any prouder of the pair of them. Working away for periods when they they born, very young, their mother is the one who steered them into who they are, I'll duck the nub of your point, there are so many reasons IMO why some parenting isn't what it could be but the only reason I'd put my opinion to, is that the nuclear family has been deliberately destroyed. (It's political and I'm not going there).

I'm not perfect. Lived far from a clean life, but one thing I can always say is the kid has always come first.

I just think it is so easy, it's got to be easier to put the effort in as you're more likely to get a "good kid" who will in turn be easier to parent..I think by being lazy it creates a situation where the kid may not behave how people want which in turn makes it harder to parent.

I just can't get my head around people not wanting to make the effort.

I have also worked away, difficult with weekends as well, but fair play to you 👍