Originally Posted by
Keyser Soze
Oh you know the usual Screaming Mary solutions for the green nutters, tramps, hippies, animal rights liberation, Communists, criminal gangs, "do gooder" politicians, charity/NGO-hangers-on, grifters, Amnesty International and other society's cast-offs, Gamma males, useless and needy. Something like:
1. We must all get rid of petrol cars to kill those evil oil companies, and be forced on electric cars. At 35-50k a car - great for "alleviating poverty" that one, but don't remind the Communists and Socialists in the green lobby. That is inconvenient. Oh and it requires the poisoning of water supplies in Africa to produce the lithium, and kills an estimated 50,000 black people every year in Africa. But don't tell Black Lives Matter & Amnesty that because they are greenies also, so that fact is a little inconvenient for them, so let's gloss over it.
2. Stop eating steaks and beef you naughty bastards. You must eat seeds, lettuce and quorn and be a good anorexic vegan. Great for Gamma males. That'll get rid of those evil cows farting all the time and killing the planet. They created the hole in the ozone layer. As they have for millennia. Not. Oh and it will kill off all those rich farmers income. Grudgey socialists and communists hate them with a passion.
3. Kill farming and release land for wind farms. But don't tell them that it kills loads of small and large birds. And don't tell the animal lovers and conservationists, nor that geriatric David Attenborough. That bit of information is a bit inconvenient too. Great for Prince Charles and the Crown though, who have started to earn a fortune from wind farms and off shore wind farms revenues from the sea bed. A tremendous wheeze for Mr Royal Green Fingers himself. But hey, like Al Gore making a billion from carbon credit trading it's "all about the planet". Apparently. Lovely new Range Rover you have there, your Royal Highness.
4. Don't spray Lynx on your armpits. Nor any deodorant. It'll kill us all. Doom I tell you. Lynx armpit sprays blew the ozone layer and it also caused the floods 4000 years ago when we were all spraying our armpits with deodorant. See what I did there? But hey, these global companies selling this stuff are evil capitalists. So let's kill them off. Just use a Strawberry and rub your armpit. Natural. And smells nice. For about 10 minutes.
5. Tax more. Tax more next year. Then even more next year!!! Then even more tax! But don't tax the people shouting for more tax. They are different, see. Offshore here. Offshore there. Be seen to be raising money for charity from other people's pockets and taxes and shout about it like Bono and Geldof, while they hide their elsewhere in a cute little haven. Or like the Clintons. Raise money all over the place for "foreign aid" - while their own people in Alabama have no clean water. But it looks good because nobody cares about Alabama, whereas a Syrian refugee seems to be worth more to a politician for some reason. Can't think why.
6. Oh an stop flying you naughty bastards. Those foreign holidays. Who do you think you are? The poor Lefties who are skint have always hated people taking foreign holidays on a plane anyway. That envy chews them up. And greenies think flying is killing us all. Funny, how all those trains carrying steel and filthy coal around Europe and the US in the 19th century didn't kill us all. These foreign holidays are for the devil. We must all enjoy squeezing in to a two bedroom hovel on a shite beach somewhere in Porthcawl, wearing a recycled knitted cardigan on the beach in August and freezing our bollocks off. Perhaps counting our lucky stars that we get 2 measly days of a sun in a fortnight, where we can allow ourselves a serene, gentle swim in the sewage-fest and brown water that is Trecco Bay, briefly popping our head out of the water for air and earning a gobful of a used Durex Thin Feel, a rotten nappy or a baby "floater" whizzing nearby. Treating ourselves to a stick of rock, maybe a 2 thousand calorie SubZero triple cone ice cream with a barrel of fudge and cream, having argued in the queue with a twenty stone bald grunt who has just necked 7 pints of Special VAT by 2pm. Then for a real treat, £10 for a greasy shitburger surprise and a warm pint of Carwyn's Ale . Your 14 day holiday for the family for a bargain fee of 3.5k a fortnight. CuLtuRe!! BaRgAin!!!
Meanwhile, 7 course meals on private jets for those at the WEF instructing us. One rule for them, another for us. Justifications for them, none allowed for us. You get the picture. Do as I say, not do as I do. You know the drill - get used to it.