A relative’s love life dilemma: What would you advise?

[Vindec]

I agree, mein chum. With house prices Al Whacko, nugget hunting has become a thing.

In this situation the lady left the ex-pork and she had only been with him two years. Yes he owned the bricks and mortar, and after two years she did have the “common law wife” nonsense situation, so she could have pulled the trigger. But honourably, she didn’t. Either she wasn’t aware of the law or she did the honourable thing and just left. So no track record to suggest she is a nugget-hunter, just yet. Not is she a big spender / credit card junkie, so she doesn’t seem to be nugget-focused.

She has been with cousin for four years, and lived with him for three. Technically again, she is common law wife and has rights to claim. So no kids yet, but he is vulnerable to common law claims. If she is aware, then in her mid Thirties she might pull the trigger this time. He has been in the house about ten years so he has made a fair bit of equity. I think it might get messy so I said he needs to strip his cash accounts and ISAs and put in parents accountsout of caution. Even consider re-mortgaging, strip out the equity and place it in a hiding place to protect himself. But he acts like Mother Theresa and because he is a nice guy he thinks others are. He can be a mug sometimes.

I advised him long ago to decide after two years if he is serious or recycle her to someone else. He doesn’t want kids (she does), and that rings alarm bells to me if anything. I said if all he wants is nookie-on-tap he should take my mate’s advice and just take a financial attitude to women by adopting a “portfolio approach”. Have 2-4 on the go. Nobody moves in - protect yourself from “common law wife exposure”. You also protect yourself from “withdrawing / dwindling sex risk” because if one of them withdraws the frequency of fish pie you just swap her out for another one. And if one calls it off, you have another 2-3 in play so you never go without. That would suit him. A bit Andrew Tate, but works for my mate. He gets nookie all the time and on his terms. All the control.

Anyway the nugget-losses aren’t cousin’s main concern. It’s the ex-pork assessment he is struggling with. Women are more likely to have male friends than men have women friends, I note. No problem for me, but it is where the women hang out with ex-pork that draws my concern. If ex-pork is texting she might be doing the decent thing and ignoring. But if she is responding, or is out with ex-pork, I would say cut your losses and cut the cord immediately with no further questions asked. I cut all ties with former fish pies out of respect for other half.

But currently there is no evidence of cousin’s filth responding to the ex-pork, nor even visiting him, so is there a real reason for concern, other than the difference over wanting nippers?

There is no such thing in law as a "common law wife situation". A common law wife /long term partner has no legal rights whatsoever where no children are involved.

[blackrock bluebird]

My advice would be for your cousin to have an open and honest conversation with his partner about his feelings and suspicions. That's one thing I learned in life. Don't keep it to yourself, or you'll blow up.

[blackrock bluebird]

My advice would be for your cousin to have an open and honest conversation with his partner about his feelings and suspicions. That's one thing I learned in life. Don't keep it to yourself, or you'll blow up.

Or, while it might sound far-fetched to some, there's a belief that souls can be connected across lifetimes. It's like a cosmic bond that transcends time and space. So, if your cousin feels a deep connection with his partner, perhaps everything will be alright. Tell him to look for signs. Some of them are covered in this article: deja vu when they're together, matching birthmarks or scars - these could be clues of a deeper connection.