A new announcement & prize: Numbskull Of The Week

[Keyser Soze]

Here is your chance to nominate a shortlist of three “Numbskulls” for the week. For those that need it defined, it is someone in the media or public life committing some really dumb errors. My nominees for this week are:

1. Ronald of Swansea. For a Brazilian, if that name doesn’t make you laugh enough, then his corner, kindly shared by a few City fans, had me giggling for days. I am not sure it will ever be forgettable in footballing folklore. Swansea had to pay a rumoured 1.5m-2m for the pleasure of that particular pleb. Go and flip some burgers at Mc Donalds son, your name is all over it, and I hear the labour market is tight.

2. Hester. Oh dear what a real numbskull. As if donating £10m to a corrupt Tory party that as much chance of winning the election as Camilla Parker Bowles has of modelling for L’Oreal is not stupid enough, he then puts the effectiveness all at risk by running around insulting black people. Genius. I am sure Sunak values his timely input.

3. Nomination number three is Meghan Markle. At the point when her arch-nemesis HRH Princess Kate boo-boo’d her family picture, the simplest thing for Megan to do was to sit back, watch HRH struggle and blow up. But no. Up steps Megan Markle Fails To Sparkle, and gets her PR dogs to pump out “Meghan would never have done that”. Ironic, given that Meghan is a walking catastrophe who couldn’t even follow some basic family rules without making a dogs dinner of it. In the same week she then announcer her new clothing brand: “American Riviera Orchard”, which has given many a giggle. Rolls off the tongue that one, doesn’t it? Many have now forgotten Kate’s mistake and are now giggling at Meghan’s double-serve error.

So there you go. Three celebrity numbskulls. All making unforced errors. But with a double-howler within seven days means that my vote goes to Magic Meghan. The consistent plonker, and Denizen of Disaster, can step forward and collect your gong with pride.

Do send in your nominations for next week’s celebrity “Numbskull Of The Week”.

[Armitage Shanks]

Mark Drakeford for not taking the blame for absolutely anything he's done

[SLUDGE FACTORY]

Any Tory

[The Bloop]

The Speaker of the House, for failing to notice Diane Abbot standing up over 40 times.

[Dave Blue]

The Speaker of the House, for failing to notice Diane Abbot standing up over 40 times.

Standing up to get called when Starmer is talking shouldn’t count in those 40 occasions because there’s no chance in hell that she would be when LoO is asking his 6 questions. How many more of these 40 occasions were ill timed?

[the other bob wilson]

The Speaker of the House, for failing to notice Diane Abbot standing up over 40 times.

Agreed, Hoyle is out of his depth and should stand down. Given the tone of many of his posts in the days leading up to the Swansea game, shouldn’t Keyser Soze be a contender for the award as well ?

[The Bloop]

Standing up to get called when Starmer is talking shouldn’t count in those 40 occasions because there’s no chance in hell that she would be when LoO is asking his 6 questions. How many more of these 40 occasions were ill timed?

If half of them were when she had a chance to be chosen, then I see the other half as drawing attention to the Speaker that you want to when it is someone's turn on your side to speak.