I remember the date - 27th March, 1999. I was 21. I grew fed up of polishing the snails in the garden and went indoors only to find the postman had delivered a parcel to the wrong address.

I took the parcel to the correct address, pressed the bell but heard nothing. It was one of those old ceramic knobs that had the word 'press' on it. I pressed it several times but it obviously wasn't working.

I thought I'd try knocking on the door but that wasn't working either as nobody could hear it on the inside, so I left the parcel on the doorstep and walked away. Who knows what might have happened otherwise?