I'd like to apologise for personally attacking a few fans yesterday who are planning to buy season tickets next season. I can be pretty emotionally unregulated due to my ADHD, and seeing three goals in 10 minutes and a red card made me lose it yesterday. I hate seeing the club in the shape it's in, and having no capability to change the trajectory, because it's not a player/manager exclusive issue that can be fixed relatively easily.

It's not the fans fault. It's the culture that Tan has fostered at the club, and I firmly believe the rot starts at the top. It permeates down toward every facet of the club; the board, the administration side, the footballing side, even down to the service roles like catering. A toxic work environment will nearly always deliver less returns than a positive work environment, unless there are disparities elsewhere. This is why Manchester United are doing as badly as they are lately, and conversely why Wrexham are booming; it's not just the money, but how it is used and the competence of the ownership in managing it. So when I see people specifically blame the players and the managers, they're not wrong per say, but they're missing the big picture if they think simply getting someone else in will fix the core problem at the club. You can't plant on salted earth, and I think the appointment of Riza came down to no-one else wanting to touch the club under the current ownership; I felt Bulut had no idea what he was getting into, and how stressed he became with the backroom drama, but we were never going to get an established manager from the Championship to replace him, and I don't even think it was through a lack of trying, given how long we wait and how many people we allegedly had interest in.

This is why I believe nothing will change positively until Tan sells the club. He is too stubborn and thinks he knows more than everyone else. Dalman and Choo effectively feel like Hitler's generals in that one famous scene from Downfall where Hitler goes nuts that soldiers did not follow through with a suicidal order of his. Make no mistake, they're colossally incompetent also, but they're yes men who will never truly stand up to Tan because they will lose their job and friendship. This club will never get better under Tan unless he has a truly extraordinary epiphany and his recent statement indicated no sign of that (kick every ball? More like kick every Cardiff fan in the balls). Under that ownership, knowing how poorly the club is run in terms of footballing, right down to the fact we have no director of football, because Tan thinks he knows better than anyone else, is it any wonder that a lot of players underperform and feel unmotivated, and management regimes tend to fall apart quickly? I feel if we appoint Ramsey as the manger next season, the same will occur and he'll be thrown to the wolves, and the cycle will repeat. That's why I want to do whatever I can to get Tan out, setting the groundwork for his departure before the Sala case ends, and hopefully ensuring he will leave afterwards. I understand that I'm not helping the toxicity problem, but I can't ignore or dismiss it anymore, nor am I particularly keen to see us unravel all the progress we made up until 2018.

Supporting this club is taxing. Not just because of Tan, but dealing with personal tragedies outside of anyone's control, like the Sala saga and losing Whittingham and Bamba so young (I know they'd retired, but it's just another thing that's utterly soul-crushing to hear, two Cardiff legends gone far too soon). It's just depressing being a fan, and I've seriously asked questions of myself to step away for my own mental health. I love this club, and I'm sure you do too if you're posting here, but the club is leaving me in a very bad place emotionally at the moment. I want the good times back, and I accept football is a game of ups and downs, but it just seems Cardiff, since 2018, has been going down in so many ways at such a dramatic rate. And I'd do so much to get the good times back. So I am sorry for attacking people, if you want to buy tickets and merchandise, that's your decision, and I respect that you are still standing by the club. I just want to do what I can to get the club in a better state so we can enjoy the good times again, because we have suffered so much recently.