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That's a real eye opener
Ouch.
The day after the last Derby match at the Vetch I received ‘the swabs’ in Dewi Sant in Ponty.
It still brings tears to my eyes thinking about it
I spent most of the day in Angharads drinking away the woes of having pieces of plastic being shoved down the end of my knob. Pissing was uncomfortable for days.
Worse still, I found out a week later “I was clean!” The twisted ****er who put me through it was pissed off with me for being an absolute twat. Fair enough really
It's a shocker. But even worse is when you re asked to swallow a hosepipe with a camera at the end of it. Worse again they use the same equipment for rectal examinations and all that happens is that the "hosepipe" is wiped with alcohol after use in either throat or rectal usage.
Exactly the same happened to me. A few years ago my housemate at the time said you shold get checked up every year,all you need to do is go piss in a cup.
I had brought a girl home the next night and decided it was a good idea, so I went the next day expecting to piss in a cup but because she'd had a piercing it looked a bit red and I ended up getting swabbed. I have never been more uncomfortable in my life.
Worst part was I had dropped my car off for an MOT that morning so had to walk home with a throbbing bell end. 2 days later I got a text saying all clear, so it was all for nothing anyway!
For me, the thought of it before the test was worse than the test itself.
I had to have a procedure done a few years ago using epidural anaesthetic. Watching pictures of the surgeon pushing this camera up my willy was strange to say the least.
I got re-targetted by an ad for an Endoscopy repair when I opened this thread !
This is not a joke: when I was a kid I thought that a local anaesthetic was sourced locally.
I've had one up the ass, you know something's bad when shoving a camera up your behind is the preferable option
Had a cystoscopy and endoscopy. Walking like John Wayne for 24 hours with the former, farting for Wales with the latter thanks to the copious amounts of carbon dioxide administered.
Neither a joyous experience.😂
"Take a deep breath" says the consultant "I'm going round the bend". Words no man, or woman should have to hear. Trouble is, I had the same consultant doing the colonoscopy for years. By pure coincidence she was also the consultant looking after my dad when he was in hospital. I made the joke of saying "we've met before....but you wont recognise me from this angle". I hope she has got a poor memory cos I'm due back next year. Wouldn't put it passed her to turn up the CO2 just to get her own back! But, oh the relief of a good fart afterwards...and no lumps!
Competitive colonoscopies....could be a thing. In UHD, live streamed with commentary. One point per cm. of endoscope inserted. Points deducted for breathing in gas and air. First to get a biopsy sample, from furthest point reached, out and into a test tube = bonus points. Red card and disqualification for screaming "Do you xxxing work for Dyna Rod in your spare time?"
Following surgery a tube was rammed into the delicate area to enable your urine to drain into a bottle. When the nurse came to remove it she tugged on the tube to get it out which brought tears to my eyes. That was more unpleasant than major surgery.