He raises a valid point. The P word is clearly offensive. The coconut jibe (henceforth known as "the other c word that isn't 4 letters") is also offensive. You have justified calling Patel a coconut because she has betrayed her roots (which are as British as yours and mine). Some people may see that as a strong offensive slur. Why, then is the P word more offensive for you, especially since someone could just as equally say "I called her that because she betrayed her roots"? You have to, at least, accept that the other c word that isn't 4 letters carries the same potential to offend someone as the P word.