Why are there no painkillers in the jungle? Because the parrots eat ‘em all.
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I was out with a mate today and I said "lovely day, isn't it?" and he said "yeah, absolutely", so then we got an ice-cream and I said "nice ice-cream" and he said "yeah it is," and then we went for a walk in the churchyard and I said "nice little churchyard" and he said "no, it's not". So then we went for a drive and I said "this is a nice car" and he said "yeah it is", then we put on some music and I said "I like this song, do you?" and he said "yeah, I do", then we stopped and had a look around a cathedral and I said "what an amazing building" and he said "no it's not". So then we flew to Rome and I said "this is a nice flight" and he said "yeah it is", then we walked around the city and I said "what amazing history" and he said "yeah, you're right", then we went off to the Vatican and I said "what an incredible place" and he said "no it's not". I said "why do you say that?" and he said "I disagree on religious grounds".
Why are there no painkillers in the jungle? Because the parrots eat ‘em all.
Why do Norway’s naval ships have bar codes ?
So when they return to port they can Scandinavian
My mate creosoted my porch recently against my wishes...I've told him to never darken my doors again
Why did the baker have brown hands?
..cos he kneaded a poo..
I can't drink 5 gallons of diesel............................................ ... Jerry can.
When I was a child my dad used to put me inside tyres and roll me down the hill.
They were good years..
Where I work there were two brothers until a few years ago. Their parents named them William and Jeremy Cann i.e. Billy and Gerry can.
Oh, and I was up in Shropshire a few weeks ago and I came across estate agent boards which made me wonder what the owner's parents were thinking when they registered his name in full.branch_photo_30693_0004.jpg
With 2nd lockdown looming, I saw a man with 4 cases of San Miguel, 5 paellas and 7 sombreros, I think Hispanic buying
What's red and invisible?
No tomatoes.