Great New Joke

[gabbsthenewt]

The world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make is taking a stroll down his local high street.

As he passes by the record shop, a sign catches his eye. "Just Released: New LP - Wasps of the World & the sounds that they make - available now!"

Unable to resist the temptation, the man goes into the shop. "I am the world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make. I'd very much like to listen to the new LP you have advertised in the window."

"Certainly, Sir," says the young man behind the counter. "If you'd like to step into the booth and put on the headphones, I'll put the LP on for you."

The world expert on European wasps goes into the booth and puts on the earphones.

Ten minutes later, he comes out of the booth and announces, "I am the world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make and yet I recognised none of those."

"I'm sorry sir," says the young assistant. "If you'd care to step into the booth, I can let you have another 10 minutes."

The world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make steps back into the booth and replaces the headphones.

Ten minutes later, he comes out of the booth shaking his head. "I don't understand it," he says, "I am the world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make, and yet I still can't recognise any of those!"

"I'm terribly sorry, sir" says the young man, "perhaps if you'd like to step into the booth again, you could have 5 more minutes."

Sighing, the world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make steps back into the booth.

Five minutes later, he comes out again, clearly agitated. "I am the world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make and yet I have recognised none of the wasps on this LP."

"I really am terribly sorry," says the young assistant. But
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"I've just realised I was playing you the bee side."

[lardy]

"new"

[Eric the Half a Bee]

Marvellous. Might have to share this.

[lardy]

Marvellous. Might have to share this.

You posted that joke on here 5 years ago!

https://www.ccmb.co.uk/archive/index.php/t-414418.html

[jon1959]

Was it only 5 years ago? Seems longer than that.

[lardy]

Was it only 5 years ago? Seems longer than that.

Eric liked it in 2015 too

https://www.ccmb.co.uk/showthread.php?406302-Joke-time

[Eric the Half a Bee]

Eric liked it in 2015 too

https://www.ccmb.co.uk/showthread.php?406302-Joke-time

I think it first got posted around 2006, maybe before, on the old webbbs board. Can't remember who posted it first, but it was soon reposted by a few others, then by me and it became a bit of an in joke. Mike nearly banned me for posting it for the umpteenth time and I became associated with the joke, even though I didn't start it.

[lardy]

I think it first got posted around 2006, maybe before, on the old webbbs board. Can't remember who posted it first, but it was soon reposted by a few others, then by me and it became a bit of an in joke. Mike nearly banned me for posting it for the umpteenth time and I became associated with the joke, even though I didn't start it.

Thank God, thought you were showing worrying signs

[The Bloop]

Youd have thought there'd bee an updated version, about downloads, as lots of todays youngsters will be excluded and wont understand the joke.

[Moodybluebird]

Methuselah was a kid when I first heard your 'new' joke.

[Eric the Half a Bee]

Thank God, thought you were showing worrying signs

I've been showing worrying signs for years!

[B. Oddie]

I started reading it back in 2015 and only now finished it.

[ToTaL ITK]

tldnr

[cardiff55]

I loved this joke when I first heard it when I was 20.....I am now 65. Just to keep you updated, Jimmy Scoular has been sacked.

[splott parker]

I’ve always wondered if Wasps have a Bee team.

[life on mars]

I’ve always wondered if Wasps have a Bee team.

nah fans felt stung by the ticket prices

[splott parker]

nah fans felt stung by the ticket prices

Thanks Honey

[BLUETIT]

I’ve always wondered if Wasps have a Bee team.

It would be a hive of activity

[xsnaggle]

Did you hear the one about the docker who was eating a pastie whilst waiting for a bus. The little dog belonging to the woman waiting next to him kept barking and jumping up on his leg.
He said to the woman, "Do you mind if I throw your dog a bit?" She said "No" so..........................................

[Taunton Blue Genie]

Youd have thought there'd bee an updated version, about downloads, as lots of todays youngsters will be excluded and wont understand the joke.

And with a 'yay' exclamation in there somewhere.

[Taunton Blue Genie]

I loved this joke when I first heard it when I was 20.....I am now 65. Just to keep you updated, Jimmy Scoular has been sacked.

You can't blame Bradford Park Avenue as they have been relegated under his tenure. I don't suppose City would be interested in him....

[Taunton Blue Genie]

The word 'wasp' is an example of a metathesis. Just sayin'......

[BLUETIT]

Did you hear the one about the docker who was eating a pastie whilst waiting for a bus. The little dog belonging to the woman waiting next to him kept barking and jumping up on his leg.
He said to the woman, "Do you mind if I throw your dog a bit?" She said "No" so..........................................

On that note:-----

I braked hard, but still hit the car in front.
A cute blonde got out and shouted "Ram me up the arse, why don't you" ?
This your honour, is where the confusion began ...................

[Elwood Blues]

I loved this joke when I first heard it when I was 20.....I am now 65. Just to keep you updated, Jimmy Scoular has been sacked.

Scoular? Doesn't he play for Portsmouth?

[splott parker]

Scoular? Doesn't he play for Portsmouth?

Thought he was in the navy?