When I was about nine my father said to me - attack is the best form of defence.

[Taunton Blue Genie]

Read this thread and sang to myself..

"he said son, you are a City fan, and that's the way I'll stay. Always be a City fan, until my dying day"

My father's last words were "Son, would you mind taking your foot off my breathing tube?".

[Eric the Half a Bee]

My father's last words were "Son, would you mind taking your foot off my breathing tube?".

Woman in bed in a coma. Everyday, when the nurse comes in to bathe her, she notices slight changes in her vital stats whenever she washes near her crotch. So the nurse fetches the woman's husband and says, "I think a little oral sex is all your wife needs to come out of this coma." The husband nods and asks for a little privacy. The nurse leaves, but after a few minutes she hears a horrible clatter followed by the woman flat-lining. The nurse runs in and yells, "What the hell happened?" The husband replied, "I don't know, I think she choked."

[Taunton Blue Genie]

Woman in bed in a coma. Everyday, when the nurse comes in to bathe her, she notices slight changes in her vital stats whenever she washes near her crotch. So the nurse fetches the woman's husband and says, "I think a little oral sex is all your wife needs to come out of this coma." The husband nods and asks for a little privacy. The nurse leaves, but after a few minutes she hears a horrible clatter followed by the woman flat-lining. The nurse runs in and yells, "What the hell happened?" The husband replied, "I don't know, I think she choked."

Have you seen the Spanish film 'Hable Con Ella' (aka Talk To Her) - in which a besotted admirer finds that the unwitting object of his attention falls into a coma in hospital. He signs up as a hospital orderly in order to get access to her and gets her pregnant, which brings her out of her coma.
Not exactly Disney, I know.

[Dembe]

Preston's striker scored for the first time in FIFTEEN months against us. Hiding behind, "our strikers aren't good enough and that's the reason we don't score" is a poor argument. The whole team lets us down, not just the striker or wingers.

How much of that 15 months was he injured? Its not like he played week in week out and didn't score in that period, he had a knee injury didn't he?

[StraightOuttaCanton]

Have you seen the Spanish film 'Hable Con Ella' (aka Talk To Her) - in which a besotted admirer finds that the unwitting object of his attention falls into a coma in hospital. He signs up as a hospital orderly in order to get access to her and gets her pregnant, which brings her out of her coma.
Not exactly Disney, I know.

I could well be wrong here but I’ll go out on a limb and boldly suggest that this film isn’t part of his viewing history.

[Eric the Half a Bee]

Have you seen the Spanish film 'Hable Con Ella' (aka Talk To Her) - in which a besotted admirer finds that the unwitting object of his attention falls into a coma in hospital. He signs up as a hospital orderly in order to get access to her and gets her pregnant, which brings her out of her coma.
Not exactly Disney, I know.

Can't say I have seen it, but there must be a musical made of this, surely?

[splott parker]

Have you seen the Spanish film 'Hable Con Ella' (aka Talk To Her) - in which a besotted admirer finds that the unwitting object of his attention falls into a coma in hospital. He signs up as a hospital orderly in order to get access to her and gets her pregnant, which brings her out of her coma.
Not exactly Disney, I know.

Is this available at Blockbusters?

[Eric the Half a Bee]

Is this available at Blockbusters?

Is your local Blockbusters still open then?

[splott parker]

Is your local Blockbusters still open then?

I owe about £100 for videos not rewound

[Taunton Blue Genie]

I owe about £100 for videos not rewound

There are enough wind-up merchants on the Alternative Forum if you need help.

[Dembe]

There are enough wind-up merchants on the Alternative Forum if you need help.

People having valid opinions are now classed as wind up merchants on ccmb are they?

Its a weird old board, I gave an opinion on iptv being better than streams and was called a troll, Sludge posts on various threads saying the same things as he was saying in 1991, the biggest most obvious troll on the whole board, and nobody blinks an eye.

A selective bunch on here aren't you

[Taunton Blue Genie]

People having valid opinions are now classed as wind up merchants on ccmb are they?

Its a weird old board, I gave an opinion on iptv being better than streams and was called a troll, Sludge posts on various threads saying the same things as he was saying in 1991, the biggest most obvious troll on the whole board, and nobody blinks an eye.

A selective bunch on here aren't you

Calm down, dear. I promise not to jest again this morning.

[Eric the Half a Bee]

People having valid opinions are now classed as wind up merchants on ccmb are they?

Its a weird old board, I gave an opinion on iptv being better than streams and was called a troll, Sludge posts on various threads saying the same things as he was saying in 1991, the biggest most obvious troll on the whole board, and nobody blinks an eye.

A selective bunch on here aren't you

Early contender for Whoosh of 2024 award!

[Dembe]

Calm down, dear. I promise not to jest again this morning.

I am calm, you are gaslighting

[Dembe]

Early contender for Whoosh of 2024 award!

I don't venture onto the alt board much, so whoosh away if it makes you feel better with your little clique terms.

[splott parker]

I don't venture onto the alt board much, so whoosh away if it makes you feel better with your little clique terms.

Calm down, it was a good joke and response to me, I thought it was a cracking reply to my post. The board needs sharp humour amongst the doom & gloom of the on pitch antics.

[Eric the Half a Bee]

I don't venture onto the alt board much, so whoosh away if it makes you feel better with your little clique terms.

It's not any clique terminology lol!

I asked SP if his local Blockbusters was still open. His reply was that he owed £100 for videos not rewound. TBG steps in with a cracking line about there being enough wind-up merchants on the alternative forum. Videos not rewound - wind up merchants....

[Taunton Blue Genie]

It's not any clique terminology lol!

I asked SP if his local Blockbusters was still open. His reply was that he owed £100 for videos not rewound. TBG steps in with a cracking line about there being enough wind-up merchants on the alternative forum. Videos not rewound - wind up merchants....

It's never quite the same when you have to explain a joke

[life on mars]

Well it's a fine tactic if you have the ability up front and pace at the back , with a goalkeeper and defenders who can play with both feet outside of thier area .. with confidence and find a player with a pass , think these teams are few and far between