What advice would you give your sixteen year old self?

[Jimmy the Jock]

Re: What advice would you give your sixteen year old self?

Save, buy property, buy bitcoin early, keep away from certain people, don't wait until you're 40 to get a master degree, live abroad in your 20's, spend more time with your parents and family, write more, read more.. health wise, no advice.. I've never smoked or drink too much and always kept very fit.

Don't be fooled into believing money is what it is all about.

[ToTaL ITK]

Re: What advice would you give your sixteen year old self?

Or you'll end up with kids that love you?

When the time is right ...yes..but i'm sure that you , just like me know someone that has a kid with someone that wasn't meant to be. The kid is shared between two homes, the parents are at each others throats for every single mistake they make...wear a fekkin condom until you are 100% sure they are the love of your life.

[KingOfSiamIAm]

Re: What advice would you give your sixteen year old self?

I copied this from somewhere, but it encapsulates what I try to focus on in recent years:
"Mindfulness is about being focused on the present moment, not wrapped up in regrets, worries or frantic thoughts. When we practise mindfulness we can calm our mind and this allows us to see more clearly what brings us happiness and what causes us suffering.
With this awareness, we can make positive choices in everyday life."

This zen attitude is virtually impossible to do when you are young, and if I were sixteen and heard this from an old fogey (like me now), I would have dismissed it out of hand, because an "I Me Mine" attitude is an important part of growing up and finding your own way.

Look into something like 10 zen, and you will find things in there that are seemingly impossible to do, but if you can focus on the present moment and let any negative thoughts pass by that is a good start.

[Citizen's Nephew]

Re: What advice would you give your sixteen year old self?

I copied this from somewhere, but it encapsulates what I try to focus on in recent years:
"Mindfulness is about being focused on the present moment, not wrapped up in regrets, worries or frantic thoughts. When we practise mindfulness we can calm our mind and this allows us to see more clearly what brings us happiness and what causes us suffering.
With this awareness, we can make positive choices in everyday life."

This zen attitude is virtually impossible to do when you are young, and if I were sixteen and heard this from an old fogey (like me now), I would have dismissed it out of hand, because an "I Me Mine" attitude is an important part of growing up and finding your own way.

Look into something like 10 zen, and you will find things in there that are seemingly impossible to do, but if you can focus on the present moment and let any negative thoughts pass by that is a good start.

I really like this. It’s something that resonates. Best advice I’ve read anywhere today and timely tbh. Thanks 👍

[KingOfSiamIAm]

Re: What advice would you give your sixteen year old self?

All I can say is, I had an issue and it began to dominate my thoughts in a negative way.

The hardest part for me was to let go of the negative thoughts of the past. I would say that for me, that was the hardest part of the process, but I had to do it. It was difficult, but once done the rest began to make sense.

I hope everything works out for you :-)

EDIT... I meant to reply to Citizens Nephew

[Citizen's Nephew]

Re: What advice would you give your sixteen year old self?

All I can say is, I had an issue and it began to dominate my thoughts in a negative way.

The hardest part for me was to let go of the negative thoughts of the past. I would say that for me, that was the hardest part of the process, but I had to do it. It was difficult, but once done the rest began to make sense.

I hope everything works out for you :-)

EDIT... I meant to reply to Citizens Nephew

👍

[Taunton Blue Genie]

Re: What advice would you give your sixteen year old self?

I would say that you need to bear in mind that life is a series of peak and troughs in the long run. Don't get carried away during the peaks and don't lose hope during the troughs.

[Dembe]

Re: What advice would you give your sixteen year old self?

When the time is right ...yes..but i'm sure that you , just like me know someone that has a kid with someone that wasn't meant to be. The kid is shared between two homes, the parents are at each others throats for every single mistake they make...wear a fekkin condom until you are 100% sure they are the love of your life.

And miss out on raising a lovely kid? Nah.

[Keyser Soze]

Re: What advice would you give your sixteen year old self?

I would say that you need to bear in mind that life is a series of peak and troughs in the long run. Don't get carried away during the peaks and don't lose hope during the troughs.

Very Zen Buddhist. This is one of my favourites too, for the serious parts of life

[Nobody's Rep]

Re: What advice would you give your sixteen year old self?

Life's a bitch then you marry one then you die so set your expectations low and end up with a life full of surprises 👍👍😂

[North Cardiff Blue]

Re: What advice would you give your sixteen year old self?

I would say that you need to bear in mind that life is a series of peak and troughs in the long run. Don't get carried away during the peaks and don't lose hope during the troughs.

Sounds like a football quote, then focus on the next day/game and take them as they come.

[Keyser Soze]

Re: What advice would you give your sixteen year old self?

You often see two schools of thought on how to live your life. Either side of my family advised both extremes as a kid:

1. “Live for today, you may not see tomorrow”.

Often this line leads to drinking, smoking, a lack of care and taking risks you don’t need to take. Far from enjoying every day, it may shorten your life through ill health or making large errors. A popular line in Irish life, it assumes a futile view of the world, and a short life, so screw all life planning.

2. “If you work hard and save hard you will make it rich”.

A very Texan way to see the world. Enough to bore a youngster into submission by removing all day to day joy. Assumes fun is put to the wayside and a rought implicit guarantee that you will be loaded by 40 if you work hard. The trouble with this is that many street cleaners, Mc Donalds workers, teachers and coal miners worked hard, but are still doing the same job later in life, living in the same modest house. You can also be a hard worker but illiterate, a poor communicator, introverted or a poor networker - and a lack of these soft skills can see you remain a hard working old fogie wondering why life wasn’t kind, and where it all went. It also fails to account that success in life means being to the top of the pyramid, and not everyone can be at the top. In fact those at the top by a definition of a pyramid, are the small narrow part. The “guarantee” is a false hope for many. It can lead to pressure and frustration with personal failure and jealousy, or a comparison with others.


MY ADVICE…

So the line I live by since 19 years of age was one given to my by an a contact from New York. He came from an Eastern European Jewish family. The system was simple. His line was:

“LIFE IS JUST A GAME OF POKER.”

Key Principles:

1. You are dealt a set of cards in life. As in poker, everyone is different, and so everyone dealt a set of cards.

2. Don’t whinge about your cards. You cannot control what you are dealt. That will only create bitterness. You can decide if they are good or bad, but complaining to the dealer won’t change it

3. Play the cards as best as you can. That is all you can do. Size up your odds and play each round

4. As in poker there are no guarantees if you play well that you win. As with poker, it is a game of probabilities. It is highly likely that good decisions or good luck will improve your hand. But bad luck, bad decisions and even good decisions that didn’t work out well can blow you out. So get good at thinking in probabilities and decision making.

As there are no guarantee of outcomes, all you can do is get to the end of the game and draw satisfaction you played your hand as best as you can. If you have done that, then you have played a good game

IMPACT ON MY LIFE

For me this was genius advice. I am in my Forties l. I have had some downs (two big ones) but more ups. But I started off broke on a council estate. Now into my forties I am a multi-mill, have navigated several companies structures for promotions, am self taught in many subject areas, have travelled to 40 or more countries, am am multi lingual and handle my own investments and trading. I don’t need to work anymore but keep doing so just because the challenge of achieving more and making my numbers bigger each year. It keeps me alive and sharp. That success doesn’t define me and doesn’t make me special, compared to an oligarch or Jeff Bezos. I enjoy a simple pint and a pasty like the next guy. But I improved my lot in life so the system worked for me.

Am I satisfied? Most days yes, but many days I regret not investing in property more or buying US tech stocks in the 2000s. I regret not taking bigger risks whenI was young. I also regret moving away too early and not being there for elderly family when I could have helped. I have ended very healthy female relationships and discarded them, and some friends, deliberately so, to achieve my goals. But my goals were defined early and I got there and beyond. I have to accept the losses I accepted along the way as the price of that. We all have regrets. But you cannot dwell on it.

Nowadays I get as much pleasure helping struggling youngster, or graduates who are high IQ (but don’t have these life skills). Only in recent weeks another youngster has benefitted by seeing life this way. It is rewarding to see others succeed. It isn’t a guarantee this way, but it is the best system I know.

[xsnaggle]

Re: What advice would you give your sixteen year old self?

You often see two schools of thought on how to live your life. Either side of my family advised both extremes as a kid:

1. “Live for today, you may not see tomorrow”.

Often this line leads to drinking, smoking, a lack of care and taking risks you don’t need to take. Far from enjoying every day, it may shorten your life through ill health or making large errors. A popular line in Irish life, it assumes a futile view of the world, and a short life, so screw all life planning.

2. “If you work hard and save hard you will make it rich”.

A very Texan way to see the world. Enough to bore a youngster into submission by removing all day to day joy. Assumes fun is put to the wayside and a rought implicit guarantee that you will be loaded by 40 if you work hard. The trouble with this is that many street cleaners, Mc Donalds workers, teachers and coal miners worked hard, but are still doing the same job later in life, living in the same modest house. You can also be a hard worker but illiterate, a poor communicator, introverted or a poor networker - and a lack of these soft skills can see you remain a hard working old fogie wondering why life wasn’t kind, and where it all went. It also fails to account that success in life means being to the top of the pyramid, and not everyone can be at the top. In fact those at the top by a definition of a pyramid, are the small narrow part. The “guarantee” is a false hope for many. It can lead to pressure and frustration with personal failure and jealousy, or a comparison with others.


MY ADVICE…

So the line I live by since 19 years of age was one given to my by an a contact from New York. He came from an Eastern European Jewish family. The system was simple. His line was:

“LIFE IS JUST A GAME OF POKER.”

Key Principles:

1. You are dealt a set of cards in life. As in poker, everyone is different, and so everyone dealt a set of cards.

2. Don’t whinge about your cards. You cannot control what you are dealt. That will only create bitterness. You can decide if they are good or bad, but complaining to the dealer won’t change it

3. Play the cards as best as you can. That is all you can do. Size up your odds and play each round

4. As in poker there are no guarantees if you play well that you win. As with poker, it is a game of probabilities. It is highly likely that good decisions or good luck will improve your hand. But bad luck, bad decisions and even good decisions that didn’t work out well can blow you out. So get good at thinking in probabilities and decision making.

As there are no guarantee of outcomes, all you can do is get to the end of the game and draw satisfaction you played your hand as best as you can. If you have done that, then you have played a good game

IMPACT ON MY LIFE

For me this was genius advice. I am in my Forties l. I have had some downs (two big ones) but more ups. But I started off broke on a council estate. Now into my forties I am a multi-mill, have navigated several companies structures for promotions, am self taught in many subject areas, have travelled to 40 or more countries, am am multi lingual and handle my own investments and trading. I don’t need to work anymore but keep doing so just because the challenge of achieving more and making my numbers bigger each year. It keeps me alive and sharp. That success doesn’t define me and doesn’t make me special, compared to an oligarch or Jeff Bezos. I enjoy a simple pint and a pasty like the next guy. But I improved my lot in life so the system worked for me.

Am I satisfied? Most days yes, but many days I regret not investing in property more or buying US tech stocks in the 2000s. I regret not taking bigger risks whenI was young. I also regret moving away too early and not being there for elderly family when I could have helped. I have ended very healthy female relationships and discarded them, and some friends, deliberately so, to achieve my goals. But my goals were defined early and I got there and beyond. I have to accept the losses I accepted along the way as the price of that. We all have regrets. But you cannot dwell on it.

Nowadays I get as much pleasure helping struggling youngster, or graduates who are high IQ (but don’t have these life skills). Only in recent weeks another youngster has benefitted by seeing life this way. It is rewarding to see others succeed. It isn’t a guarantee this way, but it is the best system I know.

"Life is like a box of chocolates - you never know what you're gonna get next." ....... Forest Gump.

[North Cardiff Blue]

Re: What advice would you give your sixteen year old self?

You often see two schools of thought on how to live your life. Either side of my family advised both extremes as a kid:

1. “Live for today, you may not see tomorrow”.

Often this line leads to drinking, smoking, a lack of care and taking risks you don’t need to take. Far from enjoying every day, it may shorten your life through ill health or making large errors. A popular line in Irish life, it assumes a futile view of the world, and a short life, so screw all life planning.

2. “If you work hard and save hard you will make it rich”.

A very Texan way to see the world. Enough to bore a youngster into submission by removing all day to day joy. Assumes fun is put to the wayside and a rought implicit guarantee that you will be loaded by 40 if you work hard. The trouble with this is that many street cleaners, Mc Donalds workers, teachers and coal miners worked hard, but are still doing the same job later in life, living in the same modest house. You can also be a hard worker but illiterate, a poor communicator, introverted or a poor networker - and a lack of these soft skills can see you remain a hard working old fogie wondering why life wasn’t kind, and where it all went. It also fails to account that success in life means being to the top of the pyramid, and not everyone can be at the top. In fact those at the top by a definition of a pyramid, are the small narrow part. The “guarantee” is a false hope for many. It can lead to pressure and frustration with personal failure and jealousy, or a comparison with others.


MY ADVICE…

So the line I live by since 19 years of age was one given to my by an a contact from New York. He came from an Eastern European Jewish family. The system was simple. His line was:

“LIFE IS JUST A GAME OF POKER.”

Key Principles:

1. You are dealt a set of cards in life. As in poker, everyone is different, and so everyone dealt a set of cards.

2. Don’t whinge about your cards. You cannot control what you are dealt. That will only create bitterness. You can decide if they are good or bad, but complaining to the dealer won’t change it

3. Play the cards as best as you can. That is all you can do. Size up your odds and play each round

4. As in poker there are no guarantees if you play well that you win. As with poker, it is a game of probabilities. It is highly likely that good decisions or good luck will improve your hand. But bad luck, bad decisions and even good decisions that didn’t work out well can blow you out. So get good at thinking in probabilities and decision making.

As there are no guarantee of outcomes, all you can do is get to the end of the game and draw satisfaction you played your hand as best as you can. If you have done that, then you have played a good game

IMPACT ON MY LIFE

For me this was genius advice. I am in my Forties l. I have had some downs (two big ones) but more ups. But I started off broke on a council estate. Now into my forties I am a multi-mill, have navigated several companies structures for promotions, am self taught in many subject areas, have travelled to 40 or more countries, am am multi lingual and handle my own investments and trading. I don’t need to work anymore but keep doing so just because the challenge of achieving more and making my numbers bigger each year. It keeps me alive and sharp. That success doesn’t define me and doesn’t make me special, compared to an oligarch or Jeff Bezos. I enjoy a simple pint and a pasty like the next guy. But I improved my lot in life so the system worked for me.

Am I satisfied? Most days yes, but many days I regret not investing in property more or buying US tech stocks in the 2000s. I regret not taking bigger risks whenI was young. I also regret moving away too early and not being there for elderly family when I could have helped. I have ended very healthy female relationships and discarded them, and some friends, deliberately so, to achieve my goals. But my goals were defined early and I got there and beyond. I have to accept the losses I accepted along the way as the price of that. We all have regrets. But you cannot dwell on it.

Nowadays I get as much pleasure helping struggling youngster, or graduates who are high IQ (but don’t have these life skills). Only in recent weeks another youngster has benefitted by seeing life this way. It is rewarding to see others succeed. It isn’t a guarantee this way, but it is the best system I know.

Great advice, I think I live by a similar ethos, I never worry about how much billionaires have, I set goals and got what I wanted quickly, you are correct if you set them and write them down, you achieve them ten times quicker than you thought you would.

[Dembe]

Re: What advice would you give your sixteen year old self?

You often see two schools of thought on how to live your life. Either side of my family advised both extremes as a kid:

1. “Live for today, you may not see tomorrow”.

Often this line leads to drinking, smoking, a lack of care and taking risks you don’t need to take. Far from enjoying every day, it may shorten your life through ill health or making large errors. A popular line in Irish life, it assumes a futile view of the world, and a short life, so screw all life planning.

2. “If you work hard and save hard you will make it rich”.

A very Texan way to see the world. Enough to bore a youngster into submission by removing all day to day joy. Assumes fun is put to the wayside and a rought implicit guarantee that you will be loaded by 40 if you work hard. The trouble with this is that many street cleaners, Mc Donalds workers, teachers and coal miners worked hard, but are still doing the same job later in life, living in the same modest house. You can also be a hard worker but illiterate, a poor communicator, introverted or a poor networker - and a lack of these soft skills can see you remain a hard working old fogie wondering why life wasn’t kind, and where it all went. It also fails to account that success in life means being to the top of the pyramid, and not everyone can be at the top. In fact those at the top by a definition of a pyramid, are the small narrow part. The “guarantee” is a false hope for many. It can lead to pressure and frustration with personal failure and jealousy, or a comparison with others.


MY ADVICE…

So the line I live by since 19 years of age was one given to my by an a contact from New York. He came from an Eastern European Jewish family. The system was simple. His line was:

“LIFE IS JUST A GAME OF POKER.”

Key Principles:

1. You are dealt a set of cards in life. As in poker, everyone is different, and so everyone dealt a set of cards.

2. Don’t whinge about your cards. You cannot control what you are dealt. That will only create bitterness. You can decide if they are good or bad, but complaining to the dealer won’t change it

3. Play the cards as best as you can. That is all you can do. Size up your odds and play each round

4. As in poker there are no guarantees if you play well that you win. As with poker, it is a game of probabilities. It is highly likely that good decisions or good luck will improve your hand. But bad luck, bad decisions and even good decisions that didn’t work out well can blow you out. So get good at thinking in probabilities and decision making.

As there are no guarantee of outcomes, all you can do is get to the end of the game and draw satisfaction you played your hand as best as you can. If you have done that, then you have played a good game

IMPACT ON MY LIFE

For me this was genius advice. I am in my Forties l. I have had some downs (two big ones) but more ups. But I started off broke on a council estate. Now into my forties I am a multi-mill, have navigated several companies structures for promotions, am self taught in many subject areas, have travelled to 40 or more countries, am am multi lingual and handle my own investments and trading. I don’t need to work anymore but keep doing so just because the challenge of achieving more and making my numbers bigger each year. It keeps me alive and sharp. That success doesn’t define me and doesn’t make me special, compared to an oligarch or Jeff Bezos. I enjoy a simple pint and a pasty like the next guy. But I improved my lot in life so the system worked for me.

Am I satisfied? Most days yes, but many days I regret not investing in property more or buying US tech stocks in the 2000s. I regret not taking bigger risks whenI was young. I also regret moving away too early and not being there for elderly family when I could have helped. I have ended very healthy female relationships and discarded them, and some friends, deliberately so, to achieve my goals. But my goals were defined early and I got there and beyond. I have to accept the losses I accepted along the way as the price of that. We all have regrets. But you cannot dwell on it.

Nowadays I get as much pleasure helping struggling youngster, or graduates who are high IQ (but don’t have these life skills). Only in recent weeks another youngster has benefitted by seeing life this way. It is rewarding to see others succeed. It isn’t a guarantee this way, but it is the best system I know.

tldr; don't worry about what you can't control.