Can't believe some are saying no to Andy Carroll, a former £35m footballer with England goals to his name, who played well for Reading and West Brom last season. Mental. If he comes to us on wages similar to what he was on at Reading, ie considerably less than what Max Watters and Mark Harris are paid, it is an absolute no-brainer, as he is better than those pair will ever be put together.

Yes he's been injury-prone, no he's not getting any younger, but bloody hell, beggars really can't be choosers.