I hate Christmas

[Organ Morgan.]

Pay no attention to anything the rotter posts here because it's all what's commonly found piled high in every cow field.

He makes a point of contributing here from his lair while sat cross-legged wearing Liverpool's full kit. Very often he does so when puffing on a roll up, that contains what he and Christ only knows, that he's jammed into one end of a 1940s art deco fag holder. In his deluded state he thinks he's a modern day Cecil B. DeMille character.

Contrary to what he claims, as with every year, he's been looking forward to Crimbo since January. His female neighbours know better than to be lured inside his shed for a festive sherry or Bailey's Irish cream for they know he's strategically attached mistletoe to every ceiling. 77-year-old Mrs Bagley next door knows better than anyone. How many times must that dear elderly lady utter the words "I'm far too old for a nobbing" before she's allowed to scoff her mince pies in peace?

[SLUDGE FACTORY]

Pay no attention to anything the rotter posts here because it's all what's commonly found piled high in every cow field.

He makes a point of contributing here from his lair while sat cross-legged wearing Liverpool's full kit. Very often he does so when puffing on a roll up, that contains what he and Christ only knows, that he's jammed into one end of a 1940s art deco fag holder. In his deluded state he thinks he's a modern day Cecil B. DeMille character.

Contrary to what he claims, as with every year, he's been looking forward to Crimbo since January. His female neighbours know better than to be lured inside his shed for a festive sherry or Bailey's Irish cream for they know he's strategically attached mistletoe to every ceiling. 77-year-old Mrs Bagley next door knows better than anyone. How many times must that dear elderly lady utter the words "I'm far too old for a nobbing" before she's allowed to scoff her mince pies in peace?

I find women who smoke fags strangely attractive

The smell is a tad off-putting