Boris, bless him...

[Dorcus]

Boris Johnson makes a visit to a remote Cornish village on a whistle stop tour and asks the village spokesman what his government could do for them.

"We have two big needs", said the spokesman. "First we have a health centre but no doctor".

Boris whipped out his mobile phone, spoke for a short while and said "I've sorted it out, a doctor will be here tomorrow. What is your other need"?

"We have no mobile phone reception"