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Visited Sludge's abode this morning to be subjected to a non-stop moan-fest.
It begun when I asked why he was wearing a pair of mittens. "It's cold today for this time of year," he groaned. "That'll also explain why he has a bobble hat on," thought I.
In total contrast, whenever the temperature climbs above the seasonal average, even by a few degrees, he carries on as if he's sweating snobs in the middle of the Kalahari desert.
Then he grumbled about his copy of today's Daily Mail being delivered after 9am when he's usually reading it before 8am.
His next complaint surrounded why he has received no responses to his latest Plenty of Fish dating site advert. He wondered whether rewording it would be beneficial and asked whether I could suggest improvements.
It read: mid-30s Wales businessman whose (sic) articulate and sofisticated (sic) seeks beautiful big breasted ladies, also a fan of large rears so fattys (sic) are welcome to reply.
"Hucking fell," I gasped, "anyone would be able to impove on that!"
I didn't hang around long. He was off out anyway. Latterly he's been visiting day centres for the elderly.
"Do you want to know why?" he asked. "The reason is two words." "Cheaper food," I replied.
After several more wrong guesses he revealed the answer.
"Granny fanny!" he exclaimed with relish as he slapped his head Ayatollah-style.
What a stinker that fella is!
It begun when I asked why he was wearing a pair of mittens. "It's cold today for this time of year," he groaned. "That'll also explain why he has a bobble hat on," thought I.
In total contrast, whenever the temperature climbs above the seasonal average, even by a few degrees, he carries on as if he's sweating snobs in the middle of the Kalahari desert.
Then he grumbled about his copy of today's Daily Mail being delivered after 9am when he's usually reading it before 8am.
His next complaint surrounded why he has received no responses to his latest Plenty of Fish dating site advert. He wondered whether rewording it would be beneficial and asked whether I could suggest improvements.
It read: mid-30s Wales businessman whose (sic) articulate and sofisticated (sic) seeks beautiful big breasted ladies, also a fan of large rears so fattys (sic) are welcome to reply.
"Hucking fell," I gasped, "anyone would be able to impove on that!"
I didn't hang around long. He was off out anyway. Latterly he's been visiting day centres for the elderly.
"Do you want to know why?" he asked. "The reason is two words." "Cheaper food," I replied.
After several more wrong guesses he revealed the answer.
"Granny fanny!" he exclaimed with relish as he slapped his head Ayatollah-style.
What a stinker that fella is!
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