He’s eleven pence ha’penny short of a shilling.
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As useful as a hand brake on a canoe.
According to ChatGPT:
That’s an excellent and quite tricky historical phrase — and yes, “I’ll stand Topping” (or sometimes “I’ll stand topping” / “I’ll stand topping for that”) is a genuine old English colloquialism that appears in late-19th to early-20th-century usage, though it’s now entirely obsolete.
Here’s what it means and where it likely came from:
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🔹 Meaning
The phrase “I’ll stand topping” meant something close to:
“I’ll pay for the next round”
or
“I’ll treat (someone) / I’ll cover the cost.”
Essentially, it was a way of volunteering to pay — much like saying “my shout” in modern British or Australian slang.
The word “topping” here relates to the older sense of “topping up” or “topping the pot”, meaning to add money or contribute to a shared expense — particularly in a tavern or gambling context.
To “stand topping” meant “to stand (be responsible for) the topping (the contribution/payment).”
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🔹 Etymology and usage context
• “To stand” has long meant “to pay for” — for example:
• “I’ll stand you a drink” = I’ll buy you a drink.
• “He stood the round” = he paid for the round.
• “Topping” in Victorian slang could refer to:
• Adding to a collective pot (e.g., betting, pub rounds).
• Paying extra, or providing the best/treat portion (“top it off”).
So “I’ll stand topping” literally meant:
“I’ll be the one to stand the topping-up (i.e., to pay).”
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🔹 Historical record
The phrase appears in a few dialect glossaries and Edwardian texts around 1890–1910, often in working-class or rural dialogue. For example:
• Joseph Wright’s English Dialect Dictionary (1898–1905) lists “stand topping” under northern and midland speech for “to pay the reckoning; to stand treat.”
• It also occasionally appeared in tavern scenes in novels and local newspapers of that period.
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🔹 In short
“I’ll stand topping” (c. 1900) =
“I’ll pay / I’ll buy the next round.”
From “stand” (to pay) + “topping” (to top up / contribute).