Thanks for your kind and generous replies. Knowing that there are people out who do not not know me and only have a shared interest in the same football team, but who care about my situation really helps. I found during this period writing about my situation helps my mental state.

After getting through the initial shock and trauma of the diagnosis I thought very carefully how I should face it. It would have been easy to stay angry or bemoan my fate and howl at the moon. I could have ignored it and got into a state of denial. Any one of these options would affect the people around me and they could have made them more upset about the situation and possibly less likely to fully support me. I therefore decided to face my limited future with pragmatism and logic, no moaning, no anger, no despondency, just deal with the situation and the challenges. I try to make light of what is happening and constantly cracking jokes about it. I just did not want my family to remember me as a moaning twat in the final period of my life.

I had my communication and equipment controlling eye tracking system fitted today. This will allow me to speak and control lighting, hospital bed, TV, Sky Firestick, web browser, iPhone and apps. All controlled via a computer screen via eye sight. This will enable me to function when fully paralysed and mute, which takes away many of my fears. Thankfully I will have time to practice using it and fully learn its capabilities before I become reliant on it. The invoice for it showed that it cost Ł7,000 just for the kit and it took nearly 5 hours for it to be installed. Fortunately I am having it on loan for no cost to me.

Fortunately I am not religious, so no fear of going to hell. I am just expecting the lights to go out at the end.