"I'm not going to sign anybody for the sake of it"

[Pedro de la Rosa]

Rondon and Tosun for starters.

Criteria:
1) Scored a minimum of 10 goals in a season
2) Young - ideally 22/23
3) Had international experience
4) Very keen and hardworking
5) British
6) Knows Warnock's system
7) Great header of the ball
8) Novel line in 'taches

Simples

Rondon went to Newcastle, he wasn't going to choose Newcastle over us. Tosun started the season at Everton, and they signed him for £27m 6 months before. The chances of them ever coming here were sod all. I'm pretty sure they fail almost all of your criteria too. 1, 2, 5 and 6 certainly.