6PM Curfew - for Men.?

[Heisenberg]

Re: 6PM Curfew - for Men.?

In my opinion it would help the situation immensely if women knew that the vast majority of men aren't a threat, and when some men publicly advertise this fact, it should be welcomed not criticised.

Haven't got really anything to add to this debate other than to respond to this point that you've made.

I'm not arguing with what you've said, just giving a differing opinion.

I'd hazard a guess that every person who has committed the types of acts discussed in this thread has at one time or another tried to advertise that they aren't a threat to women. Surely that's part of the act?

They're not going to say "watch out, I'm a potential rapist!" are they?

Men apparently posting on social media that they aren't a threat to women just makes the argument it a bit worse, in my opinion, as I'd also guess that a lot of women have a story about a guy that they know who seemed like he wasn't a threat... but suddenly was.

I don't feel the need to advertise that I'm not a monster that women should be afraid of. I'll just go about my life showing that I'm not.

That's my thoughts anyway.

[Baloo]

Re: 6PM Curfew - for Men.?

women's fear is (generally) unfounded, but that doesn't mean I can't be aware of that fear, even if its not rational.

OK, most fear is ultimately unfounded. I think we’re agreeing that doesn’t mean it’s not genuinely experienced.

[Feedback]

Re: 6PM Curfew - for Men.?

Haven't got really anything to add to this debate other than to respond to this point that you've made.

I'm not arguing with what you've said, just giving a differing opinion.

I'd hazard a guess that every person who has committed the types of acts discussed in this thread has at one time or another tried to advertise that they aren't a threat to women. Surely that's part of the act?

They're not going to say "watch out, I'm a potential rapist!" are they?

Men apparently posting on social media that they aren't a threat to women just makes the argument it a bit worse, in my opinion, as I'd also guess that a lot of women have a story about a guy that they know who seemed like he wasn't a threat... but suddenly was.

I don't feel the need to advertise that I'm not a monster that women should be afraid of. I'll just go about my life showing that I'm not.

That's my thoughts anyway.

that's a fair point, but I have to ask, are you happy women believe you're a threat to them? if we don't advertise that we want women to not just feel safe but to be safe, and we are prepared to do little things like crossing a road, then how is this going to be resolved?

[Heisenberg]

Re: 6PM Curfew - for Men.?

that's a fair point, but I have to ask, are you happy women believe you're a threat to them? if we don't advertise that we want women to not just feel safe but to be safe, and we are prepared to do little things like crossing a road, then how is this going to be resolved?

I feel the same way about it as I feel about people from ethnic minorities who think that all white people are a threat to them...

I don't believe that they all think this way - although it appears that a lot, albeit a small proportion of the population of those specific groups do.

I don't know how to change the opinions of those who do - maybe there is literally nothing that can be done.

[Croesy Blue]

Re: 6PM Curfew - for Men.?

I don’t think women do think most men are a threat I think it’s missing the point to think that and people don’t need to worry about women thinking they’re a threat.

It’s not about individuals it’s about situations and women feeling vulnerable in them. It’s often not the extremes of being attacked or being raped but being in uncomfortable situations which feel like they could lead to it andI’m afraid to say happen a lot more than you’d think to women.

[Croesy Blue]

Re: 6PM Curfew - for Men.?

that's a fair point, but I have to ask, are you happy women believe you're a threat to them? if we don't advertise that we want women to not just feel safe but to be safe, and we are prepared to do little things like crossing a road, then how is this going to be resolved?

A lot of people just need to check their behaviour. You see it all the time and we’ve probably all done something to make someone feel uncomfortable when we didn’t mean to. It isn’t about doing something specific it’s just understanding how other people feel and why.

I think people are worrying too much about the wrong things here.

[ninian opinian]

Re: 6PM Curfew - for Men.?

Which one is Feedback

C2934760-076E-4CFE-9E81-AD973E8BDA8A.jpg

[surge]

Re: 6PM Curfew - for Men.?

The question is what do you change, and what unintended consequences do you incur from making that change.

This isn't a debate right now because everybody is just jerking each other off for being nice guys but nobody is really saying what they want to happen.

Earlier on I asked how many sons are spoken to regarding what is good behaviour towards others compared to how many daughters get a talk about what to do to make them safe. As far as I can tell there was one answer which agreed sons don't get that conversation, as well as trying to explain it's because we don't want to see our sons in a negative light. You're now saying it's not needed but several on here had described experience of where men act like d*cks to women.

Marina Hyde wrote an article about her own harassment which happened this week in which she tried to get attention of two men to help her when the harasser was coming towards her and they did nothing: https://www.theguardian.com/commenti...arassed-street

She also remarked that she had to triage and judge how seriously to take the aggressor. It's not just about stopping people like this suspect but stopping the need for such regular triage.

Or we can pretend nothing can be done because what's going to happen is always going to happen.

[Croesy Blue]

Re: 6PM Curfew - for Men.?

We should also accept as a forum of mainly man it’s probably not the best to be saying the statistics show you’ve not got anything to worry about

Sometimes we have to accept as men we probably don’t understand what it’s like. Rather than say “you’re being hysterical” when I bet every women we know would have something anecdotal to back this up.

[adz-a32]

Re: 6PM Curfew - for Men.?

so its a privilege not to be assaulted. got it. I'd say it was a human fundamental right but there we are.


your ad hominem attacks display a real level of maturity. Just because an individual has a difference of opinion to you does not make them a dickhead.

and its hardly safer for men to be out at night. Men are more likely to be assaulted, the victims of knife and other violent crimes and are more likely to be murdered. That doesn't suit the narrative though.

just because your friends dislike being catcalled does not mean all women do. As I have said some women enjoy the attention. you seem to live in this bubble where you think the world is homogenous and everyone lives according to the experiences you and your friends share. I'd suggest you learn to open your horizons and see that the world extends beyond your own experiences. This isn't a perfect world, but its far from as black and white as you are making.

Yep it is a human right to not be assaulted. Well done, you admitted that. Surely a woman shouldn’t be denied that right because she is a woman?

And the “difference of opinion” is ****ing human decency. I do not call out others if they like pineapple on pizza.

And I used the word “safer” for a reason, not “safe”.

And I am talking about other people’s experiences. I am thinking beyond my experience as a man. If I talked about MY OWN experience, I would be talking like you did in the first and tongued paragraphs. Typical of Feedback to be patronising. *rolls eyes* Look in the mirror. Hypocrite.

[adz-a32]

Re: 6PM Curfew - for Men.?

Yep it is a human right to not be assaulted. Well done, you admitted that. Surely a woman shouldn’t be denied that right because she is a woman?

And the “difference of opinion” is ****ing human decency. I do not call out others if they like pineapple on pizza.

And I used the word “safer” for a reason, not “safe”.

And I am talking about other people’s experiences. I am thinking beyond my experience as a man. If I talked about MY OWN experience, I would be talking like you did in the first and tongued paragraphs. Typical of Feedback to be patronising. *rolls eyes* Look in the mirror. Hypocrite.

*third paragraph, not tongued

[Feedback]

Re: 6PM Curfew - for Men.?

Yep it is a human right to not be assaulted. Well done, you admitted that. Surely a woman shouldn’t be denied that right because she is a woman?

And the “difference of opinion” is ****ing human decency. I do not call out others if they like pineapple on pizza.

And I used the word “safer” for a reason, not “safe”.

And I am talking about other people’s experiences. I am thinking beyond my experience as a man. If I talked about MY OWN experience, I would be talking like you did in the first and tongued paragraphs. Typical of Feedback to be patronising. *rolls eyes* Look in the mirror. Hypocrite.

I'm not sure how any of what I have written is patronising. And you're twisting what is being said to form a completely different narrative.

You're coming across as a very angry young man. Have a spliff and chill the **** out.

[Feedback]

Re: 6PM Curfew - for Men.?

We should also accept as a forum of mainly man it’s probably not the best to be saying the statistics show you’ve not got anything to worry about

Sometimes we have to accept as men we probably don’t understand what it’s like. Rather than say “you’re being hysterical” when I bet every women we know would have something anecdotal to back this up.

Hysterical was a poor choice of word. Irrational in its truest sense would have been better.

What us men can do is offer empathy, and intervene if we see anti social behaviour.

[adz-a32]

Re: 6PM Curfew - for Men.?

I'm not sure how any of what I have written is patronising. And you're twisting what is being said to form a completely different narrative.

You're coming across as a very angry young man. Have a spliff and chill the **** out.

Read the last paragraph and tell me that you aren’t patronising. And now you are on about different narratives. Hypocrite.

[Feedback]

Re: 6PM Curfew - for Men.?

Read the last paragraph and tell me that you aren’t patronising. And now you are on about different narratives. Hypocrite.

You are an angry young man. Learn to deal with it adz