6PM Curfew - for Men.?

[Eric Cartman]

Re: 6PM Curfew - for Men.?

Anecdotal I know but I’d say every woman I know has at the very least been grabbed in a club. And that’s on top of people being weirdos on the tube or other things like that.

And completely ignoring how much more likely a woman is to suffer from domestic abuse.

Maybe it’s just me but I’ve never felt uncomfortable walking home at 4am but every girl I know would at least get a taxi and ever then feel uncomfortable.

Surely people aren’t debating that something should be done to make this better.

I think equating it to men being assaulted is very disingenuous too, no one is saying something should be done about that but it’s definitely a separate issue.

No one is saying “all men” are bad either, coming back with “I’m not like this” and “not all men are like this” is missing the point completely.

The question is what do you change, and what unintended consequences do you incur from making that change.

This isn't a debate right now because everybody is just jerking each other off for being nice guys but nobody is really saying what they want to happen.

[Croesy Blue]

Re: 6PM Curfew - for Men.?

Is that just total assaults that happen though? Or is it Im more likely to be attacked walking home?

I’d say in a fight in a pub men are more likely to be involved in assaults, or at events. And something does need to be done about that.

But is it actually just as likely for me to be assaulted when I’m out walking or when I’m walking home after a night out? Or when I’m sitting on public transport?

I’d say it’s 2 separate issues and conflating them probably doesn’t help either case.

[Feedback]

Re: 6PM Curfew - for Men.?

Is that just total assaults that happen though? Or is it Im more likely to be attacked walking home?

I’d say in a fight in a pub men are more likely to be involved in assaults, or at events. And something does need to be done about that.

But is it actually just as likely for me to be assaulted when I’m out walking or when I’m walking home after a night out? Or when I’m sitting on public transport?

I’d say it’s 2 separate issues and conflating them probably doesn’t help either case.

I have no idea, I've not seen the stats broken down by where the assaults occurred, so its a valid point.

[Croesy Blue]

Re: 6PM Curfew - for Men.?

The question is what do you change, and what unintended consequences do you incur from making that change.

This isn't a debate right now because everybody is just jerking each other off for being nice guys but nobody is really saying what they want to happen.

I think everyone being more aware of their behaviour and the behaviour of others around them is a start.

It doesn’t remove the issue and there are other things that are needed to be done but just being conscious of how other people might feel is an easy way to start.

I remember being told at school when we were 12 or 13 how old people might be intimidated by us even if we weren’t a threat, I think just being conscious of stuff like that can go a long way to helping.

[Eric Cartman]

Re: 6PM Curfew - for Men.?

this is something I, and a lot of other men, already do. you end up walking at a comically fast pace to get passed the woman.

It has never crossed my mind that a woman might think I am going to rape her just because I am occupying the same stretch of pavement, how the feck did we end up here? It's really sad.

[Croesy Blue]

Re: 6PM Curfew - for Men.?

I have no idea, I've not seen the stats broken down by where the assaults occurred, so its a valid point.

It’s just a complete guess on my part but I’ve been had my nose broken twice by drunk duck heads in a bar for no reason so I’d say that is more likely to be the type of assault men are caught up in. I’m not downplaying it, it’s bad but it’s a different ball game to being grabbed by someone on your walk home.

Plus being a big bloke it’s much easier to think you at least stand a chance of getting out of it in a better shape.

[Eric Cartman]

Re: 6PM Curfew - for Men.?

I think everyone being more aware of their behaviour and the behaviour of others around them is a start.

It doesn’t remove the issue and there are other things that are needed to be done but just being conscious of how other people might feel is an easy way to start.

I remember being told at school when we were 12 or 13 how old people might be intimidated by us even if we weren’t a threat, I think just being conscious of stuff like that can go a long way to helping.

I generally don't really see anything I could change, I am pretty quiet (it's always the quiet ones!), keep myself to myself and have on occasions tried to intervene if I have seen anything bad going on. One instance that springs to mind was witnessing a couple in quite a heated physical encounter late at night and then getting screamed at to feck off by the women when I crossed the street to ask if everybody was alright. It is quite hard to get this shit right in reality.

[Feedback]

Re: 6PM Curfew - for Men.?

I think everyone being more aware of their behaviour and the behaviour of others around them is a start.

It doesn’t remove the issue and there are other things that are needed to be done but just being conscious of how other people might feel is an easy way to start.

I remember being told at school when we were 12 or 13 how old people might be intimidated by us even if we weren’t a threat, I think just being conscious of stuff like that can go a long way to helping.

I tell you what doesn't help....the outpouring of criticism of #notallmen or whatever it was. There was a clear trend of men pointing out that they would not behave this way and they wouldn't treat women in this way yet despite this it was immediately turned around as some sort of negative.

certain women continually saying the problem is men, when what they mean is some men. They call for education of men but you are I never needed educating yet we know how to behave.

Consequently the approach adopted by these women means that some men entrench because they want nothing to do with being associated with this copper and others like him. Then this starts a whole different debate of male v female with some then arguing you're part of the problem if you don't accept their opinion. We've seen it in this thread.

I don't know any male who thinks its acceptable for women to be subject to sexual harassment, or to feel threatened just by being out at night. In my opinion it would help the situation immensely if women knew that the vast majority of men aren't a threat, and when some men publicly advertise this fact, it should be welcomed not criticised.

[Feedback]

Re: 6PM Curfew - for Men.?

It’s just a complete guess on my part but I’ve been had my nose broken twice by drunk duck heads in a bar for no reason so I’d say that is more likely to be the type of assault men are caught up in. I’m not downplaying it, it’s bad but it’s a different ball game to being grabbed by someone on your walk home.

Plus being a big bloke it’s much easier to think you at least stand a chance of getting out of it in a better shape.

therein lies the rub. most men are confident enough to believe they can at least have a chance because they'll be equivalent size, weight and reach as their assailant. Its why we have divisions in boxing. a 5ft 4 women weighing 8 stone hasn't got much chance against a 14 stone 6 footer.

This is why men don't feel scared of venturing outside and don't really give it a second thought.

[Croesy Blue]

Re: 6PM Curfew - for Men.?

That’s the whole point isn’t it I think, it isn’t really as much of a worry for us as it is to them.

[Feedback]

Re: 6PM Curfew - for Men.?

That’s the whole point isn’t it I think

but is it right? we live in the most inclusive prosperous equal society ever in human history, yet here we are saying some women should be free to prejudge men in this way. As Eric Cartman said, its not right that a woman thinks you or I are a potential rapist just because we're male. If we prejudged anyone else in society in this way we'd rightly be called out for the bigotry that this is.

[Baloo]

Re: 6PM Curfew - for Men.?

you've missed the point. Some women are whipping up hysteria saying they don't feel safe outside, whereas despite the statistics showing men are more likely to be a victim, men don't feel unsafe at all.

You'd be quite happy walking home from town on your own, whereas a woman would not. This goes against logic when you take on board you're more likely to be the victim of an assault than any woman. Why is that? Its a serious question

With these stats in mind why do you sometimes walk comically fast past them?

[Feedback]

Re: 6PM Curfew - for Men.?

With these stats in mind why do you sometimes walk comically fast past them?

Empathy. Do you want to be considered a threat, because I don't

[Baloo]

Re: 6PM Curfew - for Men.?

Empathy. Do you want to be considered a threat, because I don't

It’s just seemed you were making a case that women’s fear is unfounded whilst doing something yourself that acknowledges that it exists.

I do exactly the same.

[Feedback]

Re: 6PM Curfew - for Men.?

It’s just seemed you were making a case that women’s fear is unfounded whilst doing something yourself that acknowledges that it exists.

I do exactly the same.

women's fear is (generally) unfounded, but that doesn't mean I can't be aware of that fear, even if its not rational.